The Dark Lord's Seer

Exceptions

The next day was absolute agony. I was left alone, of course. Alone, and cursed to wait on circumstances that were now entirely out of my control. Ra gone, Tom gone.

I wasn't locked in my room though; I'd checked as soon as I awoke. Another day where my door had been left unlocked. A fact I'd noticed happening with increasing frequency. To be unlocked and allowed free roam in Tom's absence - I took as another one of his purposeful messages to me, a challenge:

"Go on, try. You won't be able to escape this place. You'll never escape."

It was a taste of freedom, the smallest degree designed to make me hunger for the larger freedom I'd be denied. It was cruel, and it was signature Tom. That, or else his arrogance had made him lazy. I'd considered that possibility with increasing attention lately, especially where Ra was concerned.

It was unexpected - out of character even - for Tom to allow Rashaad and I to be alone together to the degree with which he had. And I couldn't decide whether it was because he simply trusted Ra too much to deem him a threat or if it was some sort of massive oversight on his part.

I frowned as I mulled this over. Oversight didn't make any sense. Not for Tom: not where I was concerned. Even with his mind in a million places at once, it was difficult to imagine he'd not run through every contingency ...

Perhaps an undue amount of trust for Ra? Trust coupled with confidence that he was fearsome enough to preclude any possibility of a problem from my being alone with Ra.

I shook my head at this, mentally nixing the idea. Trust only went so far, and Tom didn't trust anyone other than himself.

So ego then? Yes, that's what it must be. Has to be.

And yet, that didn't quite fit neatly either. Tom's ego, though grossly inflated, had to be something he was aware of enough to take into account. Something about the whole situation kept tickling the back of my mind -

It just doesn't make any sense.

My thoughts began to move quicker now, and I recalled the night when Ra escorted me down to Tom. He'd held my hand - we'd had physical contact - and when I'd asked, he'd told me the hand holding was Tom's specific order.

See? That, right there. Why would he ever allow, nevermind ask -

The more I stood there and thought about it, the more glaring problems I found. There were troubling inconsistencies I simply couldn't explain away. Take, for example, Rabastan. Rabastan never touched me; went out of his way to stay back as far as he could ...

That could be because he's disgusted by me. He is insanely prejudiced. My blood impurity might explain that. Although -

When I'd showed up injured in Tom's study the day after my brother was killed, his first reaction was to rage at Rabastan over my being damaged. And Rabastan's immediate fear - his pleas to Tom that he hadn't had any contact with me.

Tom went so far as to ask me in private: "Did he do this?" The real question behind his question: "Did he touch you?" Tom didn't care that I was hurt - he cared that someone other than himself might have touched me ...

I sank down onto my bed, suddenly feeling a bit lightheaded. Since I'd been here, no one was allowed to touch me but Tom. Ever.

So then why allow another Legilimens, of all people -

How? How could I have let this slip by my notice until now? Should I be concerned? Tom never did anything without a carefully crafted reason, and if I'd put Ra in danger -

You're just paranoid because of what happened between the two of you last night.

Last night. My recollection of everything flooded me and I was filled with a combination of residual longing for Ra and now heightened concern. I tried to talk myself back down from my now mounting panic.