chapter 9

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2 days later

 The Asset is alone. He doesn't know where his handler is, or where anyone is. He doesn't remember why he isn't with him. He should be with him. He doesn't even know where he is. All he knows is he is behind a dumpster, facing a brick wall. He can hear the sounds of cars and people walking and chatting to his right, but he doesn't go towards the sounds. He is scared, he is alone.

 He is uncomfortable. He is so hungry, starving. His stomach aches with the burning emptiness. He is also extremely thirsty. His mouth feels like sandpaper. So dry. Withholding of food and water is usually punishment. He must be being punished. His crotch and bottom and inner thighs burn and itch, from his diaper overfull and overflowing. He knows he smells terrible, which might bring more punishment. He hopes his handler will show mercy. Up until this point, he was kind.

 He hears the footsteps approaching before he can see the people. He knows it's two people. Two pairs of footsteps. The handler and? Maybe the handler and an agent or technician. Maybe the handler and secretary Pierce. He hopes not secretary Pierce. He is too disgusting right now to be in the presence of the secretary. He will be so disappointed, so angry.

 But no. He does not recognize the people making the footsteps when they come into view. It is a man and a woman. Blonde man, brunette woman. They have the same eyes. 

 "Not quite what I was expecting." Says the woman.

 "I can't tell what smells worse, him or the dumpster." Says the man. "Are you sure this is the legendary Winter Soldier? He stinks like piss." Says the man.

The Asset takes note of their accent. Sokovian.

 "Look at the arm. It's him." Says the woman, gesturing to the Asset.

 "So now what? Are we really supposed to bring him back like this? What do they want with him anyway, he's fucking pathetic."

 "You don't have to be mean." Says the woman. "I don't know why they want him, and it's not our business. We were just told to find him and bring him back."

 We were just told to find him and bring him back. Are they here to return him to his handler? The Asset really hopes so, he knows he will probably be punished for escaping but he's so hungry and thirsty, and he so desperately needs changing that he doesn't even care much.

 "Steve?" He says, voice hoarse from dehydration.

 "Who is Steve?" The woman asks.

 "Steve." The Asset replies.

 "Who the hell is Steve? We were sent by HYDRA." Says the man. "I don't know why they want you so badly, but they do. So get up and come on."

 They must be returning him to his handler then, he thinks. He gets up, trying to ignore the burning itch between his legs and the lightheaded weakness he feels as he rises.

 "Should I call Rumlow and tell him we got him?" The man asks the woman.

 The Asset immediately drops back down. He doesn't want to go with Rumlow! Rumlow isn't his handler anymore! He wants to go with Steve, who is kind and takes care of him, and doesn't beat him or punish him at all, even when he misbehaves. 

 "No, no, what are you doing? Come on. We must get you back to the base." Says the woman. 

 The Asset should obey. This woman is not his handler, or anyone that he recognizes, but if she was sent by Rumlow then that means he's disobeying Rumlow. But he's frozen, he can't get up and follow them. He tries the hand signals his handler taught him, trying to communicate that he can't. 

 "What is he doing with his hands." The man says.

 "I don't know." Replies the woman. "Why are you crying?" She asks the Asset.

 He didn't even realize he was crying. He doesn't know why he cries so much. It's a sign of weakness, cowardice, something that is punished. Rumlow would punish him. Steve would not. His eyes burn and sting from his eyes trying to produce tears with the very little water he has. 

 "Steve." The Asset says. "Steve. Scared." 

 "We don't know who Steve is!" The man says.

 "Don't raise your voice! He is scared." Says the woman.

 "Of what? He could probably kill us both in a heartbeat with that arm." 

 "I don't know." Says the woman. "But I'll find out."

 She reaches for the Asset's head, as her hand starts to glow pink. The Asset flinches, another display of weakness. She pulls back.

 "I won't hurt you." She says, and reaches forward again.

 As soon as she touches the Asset, he feels calm wash over him. He sees memories playing in his head, HYDRA, Zola, Rumlow, Pierce, the chair, Steve. He sees things that he doesn't remember. Men in uniforms, sitting around a fire and laughing. The small blonde man from his dreams. Little girls, 3 of them. A train winding around a snowy mountain.

 The woman pulls back abruptly with a pained cry. 

 "We can't bring him back." She says to the man.

 "But -"

 "No! I won't bring him back to them. You don't get it! They lied to us. They are evil. They tortured him for years! They beat him, brainwashed him, even raped him! What if we're next? What if they do to us what they've done to him? Do you realize who this is? He's Bucky Barnes!"

 "Bucky Barnes died in 1945!" 

 "But he didn't. He survived, and was taken by HYDRA. They brainwashed him and made him kill for them. Steve is Captain America, that's who he's talking about. They were lovers."

 "Captain America's gay?"

 "So what! It's not like it's illegal! Not anymore, anyway. It was when they were together.

 "There's nothing wrong with that! I just wouldn't have guessed."

 "You don't remember all this." The woman says, speaking to the Asset now. "Your memories are blocked, hidden. But they are resurfacing, slowly. You've been having dreams of it, yes?"

 The Asset doesn't understand what's going on. He just knows he's scared, and hungry, and thirsty, and dirty.

 "Steve." He says. He doesn't know what else to say, even if he could speak more.

 The woman's hand glows and she reaches for him again. The calm feeling returns and his brain is flooded with memories. He sees everything. Decades and decades of people, places, things he'd forgotten. His parents, his sisters, Steve before the serum, the war, Steve rescuing him from Azzano. He sees his entire life up until the train. He remembers everything. 

 The woman pulls away. "You remember now."

 Bucky nods. He does remember. 

 "Steve." He says. He wants to go back to Steve.

 "We will take you to Steve. Don't worry." Says the woman. 

 Bucky gets up.

 "So now that we know who you are. I'm Wanda Maximoff. This is my brother, Pietro. Let us help you."

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