Everything I Didn't Say (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 41

Everyone got here as quick as they could. The hospital chairs were all taken by Bailey's family, Casey, Ally, Calum, Ashton, and Michael. My mom even stopped by for a little while to make sure everything was okay.

We all sat there all night long. I don't think I stopped bouncing my leg at all the past 12 hours. They boys tried to make me laugh a bit, but they knew nothing could take away the worry and pain I was feeling.

9am... Dr. Chase appeared in the waiting room doorway again, files in hand. Bailey's dad jumped up first, then followed by me.

"What's happening?" her dad asked immediately.

"She should be awake soon," he said softly. I had a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. If I was alone I probably would have dropped to my knees already.

"It's not good is it," I said trying to not allow my voice to crack. Dr. Chase looked at me, but pursed his lips instead of answering.

"You guys can probably go in now," he said before disappearing again. I felt my stomach drop, and I took a few breathes. I looked back behind me scanning my eyes over everyone waiting before I nodded my head to signal we should go in. They all got up slowly and followed Bailey's family and I into the room.

"You're awake," Casey mumbled as we all walked in. Bailey gave us a small nod.

"How are you feeling Bailey?" Dr. Chase asked.

"My head hurts a bit, but besides that I feel fine. Why am I here?" she asked with a confused look. That wasn't a good sign, she didn't remember the night prior.

"You had gotten really pale last night, and you were being unresponsive," Dr. Chase said.

"It took you like 2 minutes to respond to anything I said," I added remembering I had to wave my hand in front of her to even look at me.

"I was just tired, I feel fine now though," she said as if nothing was bothering her. It gave me a small amount of hope until I heard Dr. Chase's next words.

"Bailey," Dr. Chase said with a deep breath.

That's when I knew things weren't okay.

"We did another MRI, your tumor is growing again," he said. I felt crushed. Ever since Bailey's diagnosis, I thought I was prepared for the worst. But yet, this entire time I held on to a small amount of hope, and that's what fucked me up. That's what crushed me.

Bailey's face dropped which just added another punch to my heart. She opened her mouth, and then shut it, switching her eyes to the ceiling above her.

"How much time," she mumbled so it was barely audible.

"We can't be sure, the growth could speed up," Dr. Chase said. So at this point we had no idea how much time whatsoever. I could hold her for another day, or I could hold her for another year... but there was no way to tell.

"Can I at least go home soon?" she asked still being quiet.

"Dr. Chase is gonna find out, we don't want you staying here either," her dad said. I walked to her side, grabbing her hand and giving it a small squeeze. She looked down at our hands, then up to me giving me a soft unsure smile. She had no reason to smile, but she was still trying. She was always that way, she always wanted to put up a front even when she didn't need to. That's one reason why I admired her so much.

The room remained quiet while Dr. Chase went to go find out if he could release her. I wanted to talk to her, I just didn't know what to say. I had so many thoughts running through my head, it felt like my head was full.