I Need To Remember

Chapter Four

It was sort of odd between them, if you could say that.

Waking up with her in his arms was an endeavor of its own. He was laying half on top of her, probably crushing her bones, but she didn't seem bothered in the slightest. No, she was content, pulling him closer in her dream-state, muttering some incoherent things that he couldn't fully comprehend. His entire body heated up from being so close to her warmth, their legs entangled, barely any fabric between them. He wondered if it was okay to embrace her in such an intimate way, nervously looking at her sleepy face as the first rays of sun shined upon it.

But Riftan had to remind himself that they were married and he needed to just relax; that was what he had been repeatedly doing all day. Though it wasn't really working as his whole being raced into overdrive with her presence.

When she called the servants to prepare a bath for him and left the room, he was finally alone to wallow in his thoughts. The man was more able to take a calming breath since she was gone, but still wanted her back more than ever. Pouring warm water over his body with a stifled groan, Riftan felt increasingly restless. The lustful thoughts infiltrating his mind greatly embarrassed him, and he quickly finished the bath, not sure if it was better to be alone with his mind or with her. He felt as if he were being driven crazy by no one but himself.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he heard footsteps approaching the door. All sheepishness left him in an instant as he went to it and pulled the handle, still wiping his hair with a towel as he looked down at Maxi. She seemed to shiver beneath him, and they looked at each other for a quiet moment. Riftan stopped rubbing his head, totally caught up in her mesmerizing eyes.

His heated gaze traveled down her face, her pale, slender neck, and took in the welcome sight of her figure in the deep purple gown. He swallowed, looking back into her red face once more. Dear God...

"My lady..?" It was only then that he noticed the small group of maids behind her. Riftan's neck and ears flushed, and he immediately took a step backwards. They all looked like they were trying to hide giggles, except for the woman in charge. In her shock, Maxi jumped so high he thought she might reach his height.

"May we clean-"

"Yes, y-yes!" His wife tore into the room ahead of the servants and grabbed his forearm, leading him out of their way. He tried to apologize, but in a desperate attempt to forget the situation, she began rambling. He couldn't possibly get a word in with how fast she was speaking.

"How was your b-bath? You probably feel much better after being in the hot water and g-getting clean. Oh! You've been forgetting everything, but I'm not sure about basics- did you need a-any help washing? I can, uh..."

Seeing Riftan's shocked face, she quickly realized what she said and covered her face. Then she uncovered it and began to quickly take back what she said as the servants tried to hide their amused or disturbed faces.

"Ha! I'm totally joking," She still spoke exclusively to Riftan, but in a louder voice. He could tell she wanted the workers to hear, and wasn't sure if he should play along, standing uneasily. She patted his chest with a shaky laugh. "Your m-memory is great and um, actually," Maxi turned back to the servants with a strained smile. "You can c-clean up after we go out, please. For now..." She rushed to the door and opened it.

The woman in charge obligingly put down the towels she had started to gather and gestured for the other maids to follow her out. On her way to the door, however, she did ask:

"But my Lady, you mentioned staying inside the room today?" Though it was a genuine question, Maxi stiffened.

"T-There has been a change of...plans, thank you, Rudis." She nodded and opened the door wider, and they all quickly filed out.

When she shut the door and leaned her back against it, looking at him, the tension rose. Riftan finally put down the towel he was holding and as he did so droplets of water rolled down his face. He noticed in his peripheral vision as she watched one, for once looking as restless as he felt. But when he focused his eyes on her, that expression was nowhere to be found.

She just looked sad, crossing her arms and turning her chin down.

"I'm sorry, I e-embarrased you. I have...n-no c-control over my tongue." She said bitterly, anxiously bringing fingers to her trembling lips. Riftan quickly opened his mouth to refute the statement, unsure if he should go to her. All at once he wanted to hold Maxi in his arms and tell her the sweetest things, but he didn't want to risk crowding her space either.

"You didn't embarrass me at all. If I hadn't- it was my fault for standing in the doorway like an idiot," He awkwardly scratched his head and looked away, pushing down sinful thoughts. How could he make her feel better? Grasping at straws, Riftsn continued to speak. "Besides, I would even argue that I'm worse than you in that avenue." He lightened his tone, trying to lift the mood. She scoffed with a tiny smile on her face-that was a good sign, right?

"Yeah, right. How so?" She stood up straight now and put her hands on her hips like it was a challenge. When Riftan mimicked her, she bit her lip to stop from laughing, and he had to briefly look away lest his mind wander again.

"Ever since I've woken up I've been blurting dumbass shit. You really can't top me, Maxi." Riftan spoke in an exaggeratedly arrogant tone.

Walking away to the window like the conversation was over, he knew she would follow. Sure enough, her dainty footsteps soon came rapidly after him, making an adorable sound on the wooden floor. He smiled briefly as his back was turned to her, before hiding his appearance as she got closer.

"Please. None of that can top me requesting to bathe you l-like a newborn in front of so many people!" She had caught up to him, and when they made eye contact-despite their mutual discomfort-they couldn't help but laugh. It was all just so absurd.

Maxi leaned against the wall by the window, holding her stomach as she bent over, face filled with mirth. He couldn't help but think when the light twinkled upon her face so he could see every feature clearly-while she smiled so widely like that-it was unequivocally the most beautiful he had ever seen her. Scared he would ruin the moment with his staring, he turned and looked out over the castle, unable to hide his smile this time.

Gazing over the castle gates, the bustling workers, and all the land beyond he suddenly felt overwhelmed, and his mood dimmed. Was he really Lord of all this? Who was he to have accomplished so much? Part of him didn't believe it, but everyone calling him 'lord' and Maxi 'lady' could hardly be in jest. No, this was for real.

Riftan didn't know the first thing about being a knight, a Lord, a husband. What if he never remembered anything?

A sharp jolt came to the back of his head and he couldn't help but pull a face, gingerly touching the spot.

He was soon comforted when he felt a soft, warm hand momentarily holding his, before going past it and rubbing soothing circles over his lower scalp. He sighed, hunching his shoulders in an effort to make it easier for her to reach.

"Does it h-hurt very badly?" The concerned voice suddenly caused feelings of ashamedness to course through him. Here she was, taking care of him all this time, and he had not the decency to do the same. Maxi obviously had a lot on her shoulders already, so he should do his best to be more able for her, even in his perpetual uncertainty.

With great difficulty he tried to focus, to dig deep within his mind for who he was, but could not conjure up a single thing, try as he might. Riftan told her he was fine, tried to ignore the worries of his responsibilities- but there was a persistent voice continually echoing in his empty head, saying, I need to remember.