I Need To Remember

Chapter Thirteen

Okay, so Maxi really didn't know how to act around Agnes. At times she thought that she should be very formal, but the Princess's attitude was anything but.

And she was so out of place- her mother had died at a young age, and she never spoke to Rosetta. She didn't even know what friendship, or even simple companionship between women was supposed to be like. What should she do? There was no one to give advice, no manual to follow.

Besides that, her anxiety was at an all-time high trying to keep her mouth shut about Riftan. All the time she spoke, Maxi did her best to keep an especially clear mind, even biting down on her tongue for extra compensation when her mouth was closed.

I can't mess this up. Even if I can't do most things right, I can make sure this one thing goes well.

She felt so scared, because since this situation- which really was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, especially since he started to remember people- could blow so out of proportion. Maxi couldn't even imagine the outcry if his memory loss became big news. There were many people who did not like her husband for his background already; this would be seen as a sign of weakness. And while she did not know much about the world, the lady knew enough to be sure others would try to take advantage of Anatol's position. What is a land without its Lord?

Doubt had also began to seed its way inside of her heart. What if he didn't remember her? It could be that he remembered everyone but Maxi, as there was no way to tell how and why his brain was working the way it did. What then? She was always scared of losing his affection- having to gain it again was...well, that part really wasn't bad at all.

She hoped the sun would explain how her face had suddenly heated up.

But what if he didn't truly like her as much as before? Or what if now that he knew his and Agnes's history and not theirs, he would change his mind? Agonizingly, she kept replaying and replaying the moment he had let go of her during dinner. Why did he let go? Was she bothering him?

After she started to drink, Maxi couldn't remember anything. She just woke up the next day, tangled in Riftan's arms and trying not to wonder if she made a fool of herself as she snuggled further into him. His embrace was more reassuring than anything else, but still the insecurities persisted.

Even if it was not right, she could not help but feel slightly annoyed toward Agnes. How can he remember her first? Honestly, she was bothered about Hebaron too, but this was another level of- ugh! With all her frustrations, she struggled to keep the emotion from bubbling over.

Childishly, Maxi kicked a rock with some concentrated vigor as they walked around town and the Princess surveyed the square.

Right away, the Princess's sharp eyes caught onto this action. Maxi was trapped in their vibrant, cerulean hue.

"Have I offended you in some way, Maximilian?"

Rapidly shaking her head, she felt mortified at the embarrassment flooding her body. If the Princess could see through her in just one movement, who knew about her suspicions concerning Riftan? Maxi didn't trust her, but quickly spit out:

"No, n-no! It was just...in my w-way so I had to k-kick it," She was getting sweaty as she looked away, still seeing Agnes's eyes in her peripheral. They both knew she could have simply walked around it, as the street was perfectly paved. "And my face, I'm s-sorry if it's disagreeable, I'm just warm. Your highness has been very kind." She finished with a tight throat and nervous tone, looking at her shoes.

Why can't I just be confident for once? I shouldn't shame Riftan in front of a member of the royal family.

She was surprised when the Princess patted her shoulder.

"Didn't I tell you to call me by name?" Her face somehow looked kinder than before.

Maxi was able to let out a small smile, thankful for the change in topic. It still felt strange and illegal to say, though.

"Yes, Agnes." Nodding in satisfaction, the Princess grabbed her hand and squeezed it with a smile. Then she let go as she continued to look around, still speaking. Maxi really was shocked at how friendly the girl was- it was the last thing she expected. But maybe they could truly be amicable towards one another. Hope rose in her chest.

"Anyways, how's Riftan been? I've hardly seen him." And that feeling plummeted.

Behind them, Hebaron began coughing violently like he was going to pass out and die. When Agnes turned in curiosity, Maxi made sure her face was out of the Princess's view before fixing him with a harsh glare.

Sir Nirta quickly sobered up and successfully hid his laughter, where upon Agnes's attendant stopped looking over him in disgust at the gross hacking. Maxi allowed her shoulders to relax.

"Are you h-hungry at all?" She tried for a distraction, hoping the obnoxious scene would go in her favor. But the Princess just pulled her over to a nearby food stand and bought them both hot meat pies as she continued speaking. The lady thought her fingertips might burn straight off from the warmth as she juggled the thing around in her hands.

"I only asked because he's impossible to read, even after so long," Agnes complained with a roll of her eyes, digging into the food unbothered. Maxi tried to do the same, but her tongue burnt terribly from the pie. At the same time, her mind reeled from the emphasis the Princess has placed on certain words. "That man could have brain cancer and continue to walk on like there's no problem until he drops dead."

The familiar way she spoke about her husband was a little disquieting, especially since the Princess really could've married him. But it was fine, they worked together and...and she didn't want to feel like this, so intensely jealous. It was wrong, wasn't it? And silly, too.

"He's good," Maxi’s voice was unintentionally subdued, but she hurried to correct it. "I mean, he certainly d-doesn't...have brain cancer." She said in a somewhat awkward, hopefully joking tone.

Just a little amnesia, haha! Everything is fine here!

"Of course not." Agnes laughed a little, but when she looked at her, Maxi was sure the woman had seen straight into her mind. Even holding the hot pastry, her hands immediately felt clammy and cold. What did they get into?

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Note:

ok I think this will be the final arc so I don't drag the story for too long

Anyway I really was interested in an unrequited Agnes/Riftan. Cause she's a princess and probably got everything she wanted her whole life. If riftan rejected you ik that'd hurt 😭💀 but the actual story is so unclear (imo) on her true feelings I'm curious