I Need To Remember

Chapter Sixteen

With that, the more frenzied search for his memories began.

It looked like his interactions with others had triggered things before, but when trying to artificially use the same method, nothing worked. In fact, all it did was make him feel annoyed, but Riftan could easily bear such things for her.

The only time he seriously couldn't be bothered was with that idiot Ruth. When prompted to tell Riftan how they met, he spun a ridiculous tale of him saving the lord from wyverns with his magic.

Yeah fucking right.

If anything, it was probably the other way around. He refused to listen to the puny man for a second longer.

Which made Maxi unhappy with the both of them, but he soon won her over again. Riftan smiled at the memory of her touch.

But things had gotten especially frantic now that the Princess had gone. If she reached the palace before they could truly figure this out, he had no idea the scope of what problems would arise. It would certainly be a much grander issue than what he was dealing with. And Riftan was in no way prepared; but memories or not he was Lord of Anatol, and it was his responsibility to protect the place.

As a sort of final try, Maxi suggested they leave the castle and ride over some of the land. He had spent most of his time indoors, so her hypothesis was that perhaps a change in location would help.

Even if it didn't, he could still appreciate the great war horse thundering beneath him, and the fresh cool air that swept into his face, almost stinging him from the intense speed of which they traveled.

When he met Talon, it somehow felt like seeing an old friend again. The horse tittered- if you could call its excited, jumpy movements that, thrashed would be more appropriate- and nuzzled its face into Riftan's hand when he reached up. Intially wary of such a beast, all of his hesitation evaporated at once. He still didn't know how he'd be on the creature, but once he saddled up, every movement was as easy as walking. So surprised at his own skill, Riftan felt like he was in the backseat of his body at times. But he could only go with it and try not to dwell on the strangeness of it all.

For the hundredth time, he couldn't help but obsess over the question.

Who am I?

"Riftan, d-does your head hurt again? Maybe the gait was too much." Once he snapped out of his stupor, he realized Maxi was looking at him with wide, concerned eyes, fingers brought nervously to her lips.

He seriously needed to keep his emotions under wraps.

"No, I was just thinking." He flashed her a quick smile, hoping to erase any worries she might have. Riftan never wanted her to worry, especially not over him. But his idealized version of things could not be reality.

They had stopped their horses by a small pond, and she was a vision against such a background. Her red hair glided gently against the soft breeze; it seemed that even the wind had need to caress the silky locks. Its color popped against the blue sky, to him nearly glowing in that pulchritudinous palette of deep crimson, orange and violet which he had come to love.

Her tiny hands now slightly shivered on her horse's reigns. If Riftan had any less wits in that moment, he surely would have fallen off his stallion in trying to hold them, to reach for them again. When she looked at him so clearly in this way, he thought...perhaps, really, she is a goddess who has brought me to life.

Or it could be that he was truly dead, and she brought him to heaven. Because that was the only place where one should experience such bliss. Even with all the wariness and uncertainty, for now he was at peace. If only Maxi would continue to look at him that way, to be with him, he would feel that again and again. Riftan knew it to be true, more than anything else.