Wasted Youth // Matty Healy ♣ The 1975

20~

"You can pick one now." Ben said, pointing to the box of records and singles on the floor next to his record player, just as his Bright Eyes album ended.

It was about five o'clock in the afternoon, I had about an hour before I definitely needed to go home.

He kissed my shoulder that had been covered by his thin white t-shirt and I clambered off Ben's bed and walked towards the record player. I flipped through the records gently, scared of breaking them, before finally selecting a Kate Bush album.

I took the other record off the turntable before carefully slipping the record out of it's cardboard case and putting it on.

As it began to play, I sneaked back into his bed and looked at him.

His skin was softer than Matty's. He didn't have as many scars on his hands from cigarettes, he was clean shaven and much more hesitant, yet he wasn't as aware of what consequences would come with his actions. Maybe because he had never made quite so many mistakes as Matty.

"You're so beautiful." His voice seemed dull and uninterested all of a sudden, I smiled at him.

"So are you." I said, feeling my stomach churn in the worst way possible.

—-

"Hey, at least let me say hi to Olivia!" Ben chuckled as I opened the door to my house and tried to slide through it without him thinking I was inviting him in, unfortunately, it seemed like I had no choice.

"Okay, Maria's dropping her round in a couple of minutes." I said quietly, opening the door for him to step inside.

I watched as he wiped his shoes off on the door mat and bent over slightly to unlace them. He slipped them off and began unbuttoning his coat as I shut the door behind him.

I hung both of our coats up on the banister and pursed my lips, looking up at him awkwardly. He smirked at me.

"What?" I asked. He crashed his lips into mine, making me jump back. I wasn't usually one for random bursts of affection, he knew that.

"Why did you pull away?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows together as he looked down on me. I shook my head, staring at the floor and curling my toes in my socks.

"Sorry... I just didn't feel like kissing."

"Julie, we just had sex." He said, almost like he thought I had forgotten.

I felt heat rising to my cheeks and sweat forming on the back of my neck.

"Keep your voice down! My mum's upstairs!" I hissed at him quietly. He squinted and raised his hands to display how confused he was by this concept.

"When is she not upstairs? She's completely out of it, Julie, she wouldn't even notice if we were having sex outside her bedroom door, she's not going to hear me talking about it from upstairs!"

I frowned at him suddenly, making him shoot my a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Don't say that about my mum." I said bitterly, making him sigh.

"Julie, she's really not right in the head, you know that. You have to get help."

I shook my head.

"Sorry, I thought we were talking about how I didn't want to kiss you and talk about what we did within earshot of my mum-"

Suddenly the doorbell rang, making me let out a deep breath that I hadn't known I had been holding in.

"You can go in the living room or kitchen, I don't mind." I said dully as I pushed past him to answer the door, leaving him looking dejected.

He ruffled his hair and made his way to the living room. I sighed inaudibly and opened the door to be greeted by the happy faces of Maria and Olivia.

"Is Manny here?" Olivia asked straight away. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"No, why?" I asked.

"I thought he loved you." She shrugged. I furrowed my eyebrows together and laughed softly.

"No, he doesn't love me. Ben is in the living room, why don't you go and see him?" I asked her, playing around with a few strands of her unusually neat hair.

Olivia nodded and ran away in the direction of the living room. I heard her push through the squeaky door and giggle a quiet 'hi!' to Ben.

I smiled at Maria.

"Thank you for looking after her again, you're great. Was she well behaved?" I asked.

We ended up idly chatting for about five minutes before she said she really had to be going because her eldest daughter was going to be late for her ballet class.

When I walked into the living room, I was greeted by a very unhappy Ben.

"Where's Olivia?" I asked, digging my nails into my palms.

"She's gone to get some of her dinosaurs." Ben said. I smiled a little, but he didn't.

"What's wrong?" I asked, going to sit next to him.

"Who's Manny?"