Cruising Through The Clouds (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 21

Kabanata 21

First Love

ALAS sais pa lang ng umaga ay naglakad-lakad na ako sa labas ng DIA building para mag-exercise. Kagagaling ko lang sa isang convenience store para bumili ng fresh milk dahil bawal na ako sa kape.

I slowly close my eyes at ninamnam ang malamig na panahon. Sa mga oras na 'to sigurado akong nakabalik na sina Anthony ngayon mula sa biyahe at nagpapahinga na.

I sighed, remembering Anthony and my situation.

I sat down on the nearest bench at nilapag ang bitbit na paper bag sa tabi ko. Naaaliw kong pinagmasdan ang mga snowflakes na nagsilaglagan sa harapan ko. But suddenly, it fell heavily and easily, with no meaning or intention but the fulfillment of its own nature, which was to fall and fall. Just like when I fell with Anthony, it was suddenly and easily, and I just kept on falling.

Sinalo ko ang mga snowflakes at hinayaang matunaw sa palad ko. My smile gets wider as the snowflakes turn into water in my palm.

"You never change." Nag-angat ako ng tingin dahil sa boses ni Galan sa left side ko.

I shrugged and tapped the bench, signaling for him to sit down kaya agad namang umupo si Galan. Umusog ako ng kaunti at hinayaan itong pagmasdan ang ginagawa ko.

Narinig ko ang malalim na buntonghininga ni Galan kaya sinipat ko ito.

"Hmm?" I raised my left brow na ikina-iling ni Galan.

"I just wonder what you have been doing these past months."

I shrugged again at tinigilan ko na ang ginagawa ko. Sumandal ako sa bench at pinagmasdan ang harapan, inaalala kung ano ang mga ginawa ko noong nalaman ko ang panloloko ni Galan sa akin.

"I remember crying myself to sleep wondering who you were talking to instead of me..." I sighed. Hindi umimik si Galan at ginaya ang ginawa ko. "...wondering why you did me so wrong and thinking of everything that was wrong with me... I would check my phone every 10 minutes hoping to see your name, and if it wasn't you, I would get disappointed and cry some more."

It hurts me so much. Lahat-lahat ng nangyari. It messed me up. Mabuti na lang talaga at hindi ko naisipang magpakamatay dahil sa nangyari. I am still thankful that I am strong enough to handle the pain that I've been through.

Nanatiling tahimik si Galan kaya nagpatuloy ako.

"I wouldn't wish that heartbreaking pain on my worst enemy... kasi I was waiting for you. I'm waiting for your call and updates... I know that it was never my fault and that you just couldn't handle my love."

Mapait akong ngumiti.

"I still remember those moments that I had to remind myself that everything would be okay and that I had my whole life to find someone who wouldn't ever think about hurting me the way you did... I learned a lot from you; I see my worth; and I will grow and be the amazing person I'm supposed to be."

I smile genuinely at Galan, kasi nawala na 'yong bigat sa dibdib ko. 'Yong mga hinanakit ko nawala na. Siguro sa hormones ko na rin ito. At pagkatapos nang pag-uusap naming kahapon ni Galan at nalabas ko ang mga hinanakit ko, medyo gumaan na ang dibdib ko.

"I'm so sorry... I really do," Galan uttered, and I saw how his eyes watered.

"I wish nothing but the best for you, Gale." My tears fall as I hug Galan tightly.

Sobrang nakakagaan lang sa loob na alam mong totoo kang nagpatawad. Totoo kang nagpalaya. Totoo kang nagmahal. And it's really true that only the truth will set you free, sa kahit ano pa 'yan.

Matapos naming mag-usap ni Galan ay nagyaya pa itong kumain muna bago ako dumiritso sa suit ko para makapagpahinga na rin. Malaki pa ang ngiti ko habang naglalakad papasok sa DIA building, but my smiles slowly vanished when I saw how sweet Anthony and Officer Miller are.

Para akong na estatwa sa kinatatayuan ko. The two are having their coffee in the nearest café here in the DIA building. Malaki ang ngiti ni Officer Miller, samantalang seryosong nakatitig si Anthony rito.

Mas lalo lang sumakit ang dibdib ko when Anthony put Officer Miller's hair strand behind her ear. Para akong kinapos ng hininga. Agad nagbadya ang mga luha ko. Kaya bago pa man magsilaglagan ang mga iyon ay nagmadali na akong pumasok sa building.

"I know that already," rinig kong saad ng isa sa mga crew na nagkumpulan sa may reception area.

"I think they've been in some sort of relationship before, when Captain Sullivan was still here..." dagdag pa ulit ng isa.

Binagalan ko ang paglalakad ko. Kasi feeling ko I need to hear something that would hurt me more and wake me up from this illusion.

"And I guess, Officer Cohan is now being serious with Officer Miller... well, they're both single, and everyone knows how Officer Cohan loved Officer Miller back then.'

Para akong naubusan ng lakas dahil sa narinig. Nasa may elevator na ako nang marinig ko iyon but I'm sure I heard it correctly. At kung hindi ko lang napigilan ang sarili ko ay sigurado akong bumuhos na ang luha ko.

"Of course, first love never dies! Officer Cohan's first love was Officer Miller!"

Pagbukas pa lang ng elevator, iyon agad ang bumungad sa akin bago lumabas ang dalawang crew.

"He's the reason why Officer Nazli Miller came back here in DIA."

I felt devastated even more. I felt betrayed. I felt lost. It hurts me to think that all this time the man I love loves someone else's... and the worst part is, it's his first love. Ni hindi man lang iyon nakwento ni Anthony sa akin na dati pa la silang magkarelasyon ni Officer Miller, dahil kung alam ko lang, iiwasan ko siya. Ako mismo ang iiwas sa kanya dahil ayaw ko ng ganito. Ayaw ko ng pakiramdam na may kaagaw ako—no, ako ang nang-agaw!

She is her first love. Kaya ba parang may something ang dalawa? At ako pa ang huling nakakaalam.

My heart ached even more. I felt cheated... again.