It finally happened. The thing I have feared. The thing I have been terrified of for years. The person I believed would be there for me through everything left.
I used to be scared of it. I put everything I had into stopping it from breaking. I would try so hard to keep ahold of things we did. It was always me making the effort for you. I tried everything to try to get you make an effort for me.
For years I made effort after effort to try to keep our friendship alive. While you pushed me away, disregarding me like rubbish.
Well its funny because you were always important to me. All that time. You were important to me. While I was the backup if your original plans were cancelled.
To you I was an afterthought.
You only came to me if you needed something from me. If you needed to make yourself feel better by making me feel like I wasn't as good as you. You only came to me to rub things in my face.
To you I was the person who was there but wasn't worth your time. The person you didn't believe was good enough for you.
Well today I realised something. I am worth more than your time. I am worth more than you will ever know.
You tried your best to ruin me. To make me feel worthless. To make me feel like I had to be there for you even if you weren't there for me.
What you didn't realise is that I didn't need you in my life. I never have. The difference being that I thought you were a nice and kind person, so I chose to have you in my life.
But I am so tired now. Tired of chasing you. Of waiting for you to give me the same respect that I have given you everyday since day one. I am tired of wasting my time waiting for you to give me the same amount of effort I have given you.
I realise now that I don't need to waste anymore of my time on someone who doesn't care about me. On someone who doesn't want me in their life.
When you gave up on me I still believed in you.
I'm done now.
I hope you have a good life, a happy life and thank you for the time we had.
Goodbye.
