It feels like walking through drying cement. Like you can barely lift your feet. Your legs burn. Like a fire is licking up them. Your knees feel like they will give out at any second. Every so often they do. You trip even if your brain tells your legs to lift up when you walk.
Moving feels impossible.
Your bones scream, your muscles ache. Everything hurts.
Your brain feels dizzy. Foggy. Like there is a cloud around your brain slowing or stopping communication. It's impenetrable. A brick wall you can't get through.
You feel tired without doing anything. You feel like you need to go back to sleep even if you've just woken up.
You feel useless and like you are a burden to everyone around you.
There are good days where you can go all day without the pain overwhelming you and there are bad days where you can barely go for a shower without crying.
You feel drained and broken.
You can't explain what is wrong. You can't show anyone that it hurts. It's frustrating. Infuriating. If you try to explain it you are made to feel crazy. Constantly being told "It's all in your head." But you know something is wrong.
Only after being asked to become a pin cushion for all different blood tests they tell you they think its arthritis. You wait months for an appointment with the right people to be told seconds after you walk in that its definitely not arthritis. They make you do all this movement to tell you you have Fibromyalgia.
It steals your life. It steals your time.
I want to live. Not just survive.
I want to live my life pain free.
But I am living with the pain I have.
I am living with Fibromyalgia.
