Angel on the Streets {shiall}

27

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, HORAN?! FUCK YOU!"

Shawn had only wanted to wake his roommate up with a blowjob. He'd seen it sometimes in books and he wanted to give it a try, thinking it would be romantic. Then he realised he needed consent first and gave his thigh some light pats. When Niall finally woke up, he slowly reluctantly shook his head and started bullshitting reasons why they could never repeat the night before, again.

He was pissed off and rightly so. Niall kept voicing his worry that he didn't want Shawn to feel used. Shawn didn't mind, though. He liked being able to take care of Niall, sexually. He liked how Niall had touched his hair and kissed him and encouraged him. He liked Niall so what was the big deal in a little fun between roommates?

He slammed Niall's door shut, flinching at the very sound. He found his mind drifting off to that horrible night from years ago and frowned. He wished it would just go away and never come back. He wanted the entire memory gone. He lay down in bed and shut his eyes, forcing his mind away from it.

He silently wondered what sex with Niall would be like and cursed himself and his annoying roommate. He was beginning to discover he wasn't a huge fan of being told no. With others, it was easy to listen but with Niall? He didn't even realise he was walking back to his room until he'd pushed the door open. Niall looked up at him, freezing. Shawn saw the friend he'd made last night standing erect in his hands and locked eyes with him.

"You could've let me finish you off, you know."

"Stop talking like that. It's... Too much."

"Oh, boohoo. You wanted to unlock my dirty side, you've said so yourself. Here he is." Niall just huffed and covered himself with his bedsheet, his breath hitched when Shawn crawled over to him and sat directly on top of his still hard member, the only thing between their bodies being the duvet.

"Ni, won't you let me help you? I know I'm not... Umm... Good at it, quite yet. But I still got you there! I just need more practice, that's all. And you can teach me!"

"Why are you talking about this like it's a regular thing?"

"...it could be?"

"Shawn? No. Gerroff."

"No way. You won't let me help you. That's not fair!"

"I spoil you too much, don't I? You think you can get whatever you want at the slightest notice." Truth be told, Niall didn't care. He wanted to let Shawn do as he pleased, further increasing the man's certainty in his power over him. But he wasn't going to let himself be weak, again. Not when he knew it would just hurt Shawn, more. "Baby... Just go, please. I can't give you what you want. So you need to get off of me. I need a bit of space, yeah?"

"Why, Niall? Yesterday was... Amazing. So why can't you just let this happen?"

"...because we aren't together, Shawn." The Canadian froze and shifted away from Niall, his expression suddenly hardened. Niall glanced at him and sighed, getting out of bed. The robe swept over the floor, reminding Shawn of what had happened. With his lips in a firm line, he tried again.

"It doesn't matter."

"You just recoiled. Physically recoiled. Because I reminded you of the truth. Our truth. We're friends, Shawn. You can't handle being friends with benefits with me-"

"Yes I can-"

"Then I can't with you. It would just make these feelings more complicated and I don't want to jeopardise-"

"You have feelings? For me?" Niall turned to stare at him, unsure of how to react. Shawn got up and moved closer to Niall, gently tugging his hair. That got a soft grunt out of him and he smiled kindly, looking him in the eyes. "Niall... You have to answer me."