Angel on the Streets {shiall}

20

The next day didn't start off great. And Shawn blamed himself. A normal person would react just fine to being woken up. But when he was shaken awake, hearing a deep male voice that wasn't Niall's, it pulled him back to that day, all those months ago. He scrambled off the bed, tears pricking his eyes when he realised Niall wasn't there and silently rocked back and forth on the ground, suppressing the urge to scream as he felt hands on his skin. His eyes remained unmoving as he stared at the wall and Greg went from frowning at him, confused at his actions to calling for Niall when he wouldn't snap out of it.

"Bro, get your ass in here and do something!"

"What is it, Gregory- oh my, Shawn!" Maura moved to his side, unsure of whether it would be alright to touch him or not. He was in shock, clearly and there wasn't much she could do that might not trigger him.

"Go get your brother. Get him right now, Greg!" She tried saying his name gently but it didn't do much to help and he was starting to tremble even more, his lips slowly parting as he struggled to get words out.

"N... Ni... Cam... Ni... Please... F-fuck, not again, not again, g-get me out of here-"

"Mum! Shawn?! Baby... Baby doll, hey... Shawn? Look at me, love. Look at me. It's alright... It's Niall. I'm right here." Shawn was still staring at nothing. Niall knew his touch was the best help and slowly stretched his hand to touch Shawn's shoulder. He froze, body locked in place but Niall pulled him in before he could jerk away and Shawn breathed in his scent, relaxing instantly into his touch. He stroked Shawn's hair with the utmost gentleness, tears pricking his eyes when the Canadian's soaked his shirt.

"Hey... What's going on? Uncle Shawn? Wh- what happened to Uncle-"

"Come, Theo."

"But Grammy, Uncle Shawnie is-"

"Now, Theo." He froze and followed his grandmother's instructions, letting her guide him out with a hand on his back. She spared one last motherly gaze at the pair and shut the door.

Shawn's tears got even heavier once they'd left. He'd snapped out of it a couple of minutes after sinking into Niall's touch but now, he'd embarrassed himself in front of the man's entire family. He felt like a fool. He thought the panic attacks were over. He really had.

"N-Ni... Fuck, Niall, I..."

"Shh... It's okay. You don't have to say anything. But if you must, take your time. There's no rush, okay? My beautiful, beautiful baby boy... The prettiest kitten in all the lands..."

"Niall," he said with more force in his voice, gripping his hand. Niall looked down at their intertwined fingers and back at him, eyes wide with apprehension. Shawn cursed himself for being born. He'd done that. Was there anything else he could do but make people unhappy? "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I ruined our trip, I messed things up with your family- I probably just traumatised your nephew and-"

Niall laughed quietly and Shawn punched him quite hard in the chest, frowning up at him. "Shut the hell up, I'm feeling like shit so don't laugh at me."

"I wasn't laughing at you, dove. I'm laughing at your overthinking. You just had a panic attack. Not at all your fault. And you got out of it so damn quickly. Remember the first month? It would take minutes. You'd spiral for so long and so hard I always feared I might never see the end and now... Well, nothing stays the same. I'm proud of you. Getting better, little by little."

"But Niall-" he shut Shawn up with a stern look, their eyes locked.

"Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, you are the strongest, bravest person I know."

"The strongest...?"

"And the bravest," he whispered back, kissing Shawn's forehead. "I love you. So much."