Angel on the Streets {shiall}

5

Shawn sat up, rocked by another nightmare and put a hand over his mouth so he could muffle his heavy breathing. Niall was right next to him and he couldn't bear accidentally waking him up, again. Resisting the urge to stare at the man's pretty face like a creep, Shawn slid out of bed and left the room as quietly as possible, completely unaware that Niall was wide awake and had watched him go.

He poured himself a glass of water and sat on the couch, looking around. He didn't like how dark it was in the living room and it was making him antsy but he was worried one false move would wake his roommate. He'd already fucked up Niall's peaceful slumber too many times in the single week he'd been there, he couldn't bear to do it again. And Niall knew this, which is why he'd stayed still so he didn't have to see Shawn fidget around and apologise over something he couldn't control.

Both of them were deep in thought and both had their minds on how to improve Shawn's psyche. He was able to talk to Niall now, which was good. And the hidden injury he had sustained from how roughly he was handled felt less painful than the first time, although that might have just been the painkillers talking. He cupped his face in his hands and gave a soft groan, then wrapped his arms around himself for a much-needed hug.

The nightmares weren't letting up and neither were the random flashbacks. Anything was a trigger. He found himself wanting to turn on the light again but managed to hold himself back by pinching his skin. He had to get better. He just had to. He was already so messed up, he didn't know how but, at the very least, he needed to learn to keep up appearances as a non-damaged, mentally stable human being. That was all he wanted people to see him as. He was terrified of their judgment, more than he could ever say.

Niall woke up the next day and left their room, finding Shawn still sitting on that couch. But if he hadn't woken up first and hadn't heard their door open when Shawn entered, that meant it was possible he didn't bother coming back to sleep. Niall hoped he had at least gotten some rest there but his slightly red eyes and the mug of coffee he was clutching close to his chest said otherwise.

The first thing he did was take away the mug, ignoring Shawn's indignant, yet subdued little "hey". He took a seat next to him and tapped Shawn's knee, gesturing for the lad to face him. Shawn did so slowly and with reluctance, scared he'd been caught again. He hated worrying Niall. Both of them got comfy, Niall with his legs crossed while Shawn had his knees to his chest before the former went straight to the point after taking a quick sip of the coffee.

"Mendes, may I ask why you didn't sleep, last night?"

"What...? What are you even talking about?" He said with nervous laugh. Niall's raspy morning voice and the seriousness in his gaze had Shawn a little flustered and distracted. Luckily, the coffee got his voice back to normal so at least that took care of one problem.

"Shawn, look at me." He bit his lip, trying not to fidget too much and rose his eyes to meet Niall's. With an affectionate ruffle of his hair, Niall mumbled, "did you get any sleep, baby?"

"I... No. I'm sorry."

"It's not me you should apologise to, it's your eyes. And your brain, too. Your entire body, really. You need to sleep, Shawn."

"Yeah, no thanks. Coffee is good. It's working wonders for me, no wonder you drink it all the time and look so good. I can feel the energy bounding back already." Normally, Shawn would have gotten a little red after giving a compliment by now but being as tired as he was, he dismissed it easily. That was even more proof he needed his rest.

"Okay. Uh-huh. Did you have another nightmare?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So there's got to be a way to contain this. To reduce it, at least." Shawn doubted it. The dreams came unwarranted and suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, just like every other bad thing that had happened in his life. "I think I'll just make it my mission to get you relaxed a bit, today. I want to help all I can so let's try something out, yeah?"