Stars Align

~PROLOGUE~

<Kora>
New Hope, Pennsylvania was beautiful. we had arrived earlier than expected, so we had time to settle in and explore. it was a small town but there was a few things to see. Mama, mickey and I, really needed this fresh start.
When i was 13, mama sent me to the US to live with my uncle. i was the only one with a passport that's why i was the only one that went. My father didn't exactly approve but then again he didn't have a say. it was hard for awhile, having to go through teenage years without my mama being right there. we talked everyday over facetime but it still wasn't the same.

She finally got a visa for her and my brother and they moved over. the second the got here i moved over. Living with my uncle wasn't always easy. I guess cause he had a daughter of his own and he didn't exactly know how to deal with a teenager. we had a love hate relationship, the hate more than the love sometimes. He pushed me to be better. I had to get straight A's, and even though he didn't show it as much as i'd like he was proud, i guess.

He made sure i maintained my shape. He made sure i was healthy and fit. I played soccer and my eating habits weren't healthy but i had him for support.

8th- 11th grade was something i guess. Had friends, lost friends. No relationships. Struggled with my sexuality and religion. And i had no one to see me through any of it.
Mama tried helping me go through things over the phone but i always wished she was there in person.

i've struggled with anxiety since i was 8, it only got worse as i got older. Old wounds opened back up for me, i went through depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts, cutting. i wasn't myself. i had emotions i wasn't allowed to express because of how people around me would react, i explained all of this to mama but she only ever told me to hold on, it would be over soon.

I held on for as long as possible till i couldn't anymore. i became void of emotions, i decided to try not to feel anything since what i felt didn't matter to anyone and they weren't ever validated, they started not to matter to me. So once again i pushed it aside.

I used to fight a lot. but when moving to the US mama made me promise to never fight again. so since then, i haven't.

I picked up an interest in weapons and defensive fighting skills. I got my first knife when i was 15, and ever since then the collection grew, i trained everyday after then on fighting, I was self thought. i learnt how to use my knives, thanks to youtube. Thats my form of therapy. there was a time i asked to talk to someone but no one heard me out so i stopped asking , sucked it up, and used training, books, music and the stars as a form of therapy. it helps.

The summer before senior year Mama and Mickey got here and I moved with them to pennsylvania forgetting the tough years and starting again. i still have my problems but they're in a bottle i'm not sure if i'm ever going to open.

I'm gonna start senior year here, seeing my history with friends, i'm gonna lay low and hope for the best.