Stars Align

~CRACKED UNDER PRESSURE~

Not even reaching my car, someone stops me. "I'm sorry, for what she said. Olive can be extreme sometimes".

I scoff at the understatement. "Yeah i noticed". i slowly turn around to see Dean standing there his eyes full of emotions. Mine, blank.

"I see you're leaving school. I am too, if you don't mind, i'd like to take you somewhere". I shrug my shoulders. "Sure".

What the hell Kora, you're letting a total stranger take your somewhere. He could be plotting my literal murder right now.

We pull up to a tall building, it looks abandoned. It's currently 3:00, i didn't have work today so i  was free to go wherever he wanted.

We walked all the way up and dean opened a door revealing a beautiful rooftop. "it's gorgeous out here".

"You think it's gorgeous now, come here at night". I look at him and smile. He shifts in his spot now facing me making direct eye contact.

"Why do you have soo much behind your eyes kora". I look at him in shock and confusion at the sudden statement.

"What do you mean". I asked, trynna Play oblivious.

"I mean i see all the feelings behind your eyes, and they damn near bulged out when olive mentioned your father". I look up at him trying not to crack the blank look on my face. Why do i let him get to me?

"I- i don't- i don't feel anything". He looks at me, but not with judgement. "you do kora, if you didn't feel anything do you think you would have reacted how you did to olive's statement?". He was right. I let it get to me.

He's eyes burnt into me, basically cracking down all the walls. The barriers in my eyes broke down and i let emotion take over my eyes.

"I used to feel a lot. anger, sadness, joy, rage. but they were useless, they didn't matter to anyone or to me anymore".

Wow. Here i go spilling my guts to a boy i've only really known for not even a day. I don't care at the moment, surprisingly. Olive spiked something in me and i just feel the urgent need to spill everything to someone right now. If not him then the stars would be getting an earful today.

He looks at me once again like he understands. "I lived with my uncle for 4 years, he was a good man but he sure as hell struggled raising a teenager. I had a lot on me, pressure of trying to be a good role model to his kid, and myself since i didn't live with my mother and he didn't have a wife. I was the woman of the house at a young age. I didn't mind it, i liked the fact someone looked up to me. But i had no one".

"I wasn't okay, i never was. My dad was absent. He didn't provide for us and he was verbally abusive towards us". I let out a shaky laugh.

"You don't have to tell me". He says while trying his hardest to not look at me sympathetically. Thank God, cause i hate that. But i do have to let all the emotions i bottled up out at some point.

"It's okay, i want to, i trust you for some reason". crap.

I smile at him and he smiles back. "I was molested 4 times between the ages 6-10 by a family friend. Never had the courage to tell my mother but i finally did. I ignored that part of my life.

My dad wasn't there and as much as i hate to admit it, we needed him. I needed him. My mom had to raise 2 kids on her own, it was a struggle. I had a somewhat rich family but my mom never accepted hand outs. it got to much for her so she sent me to the US to live with my uncle till she stabilized and moved over".

It was getting a bit harder, I was choking on my words at this point. This is why i don't talk much.

"I tried talking to people and letting my emotions flow cause they got too much to hold in. but they got ignored and invalidated every single time. I got told i had no reason to feel that way. But i did. The old wounds i pushed aside opened back up. You know what i was just struggling mentally and soon it started showing in my health too".

"what do you mean?". "I had a lot of critics around me.They'd  judged everything i ate and they always told me i was ruining my shape and when i got older id he fat. So i stopped eating, somewhere down the line i couldn't control it anymore my eating habits where just horrible".

"That's why you don't eat much at lunch isn't it". I nod in response.

"When i was 15, i had enough of the feelings cause they made me weak. i shoved everything in a bottle and kept it aside. I turned to weapons, books and music as my therapy". He's still looking at me, but not with judgement. Once again, with understanding.

"When i was 9, my dad started hitting my mom and I. he didn't hit my sibling cause they were to young and i'd never let him. When i was 12, mom decided she had enough and moved us from minnesota to here. We haven't seen him since then".

I looked at him in shock. You'd look at him and think he's had a perfect life cause of how easily he portrays himself with smiles. "i'm sorry".

"It's okay, but enough of the sappy shit. Now tell me Kora. I wanna know embarrassing things you've done in your lifetime". I laugh. It's so easy with him. It's like he's me in a make body and i find that weird.

We talked for hours up on that rooftop. We finally stopped talking about the sensitive stuff and moved on to more free topics and we connected a lot. it was 8:00pm and the stars were out. We were stargazing. Who knew we'd have a shared love for the stars.

I'm snapped out of my trance when i got a phone call. Mama. Oh shit, i jump up and answer it.

"Where the hell are you Kora maria harrison". shit. My full name. That's never good.

"I'm sorry mama, i was with a friend and i lost track of time im heading home now".

Dean rushes with me back down the building seeing as he needed to take me back to the school to pick up my own car.

Before leaving I turn to him giving him a hug. This surprises him and myself cause lord knows if never willingly give someone a hug or let someone hug me. I muttered a "thank you". Then i left.