Kickin it old school season one

Reality shows, live 'em, learn 'em, love 'em

We started the day off today in our workout gear, and as we were training, Rudy was freaking out since Bobby Wasabi was coming to the dojo with in any sec now, and with big new too none the less. And right after Rudy said Bobby wanted to make his entrance, low key and quiet, but then the room sounded with trumpets and he arrived in a moving bathtub, bathing in his swimsuit.

Basically he'd come to tell us that he was creating a reality show and it was taking place in our dojo, and I wanted no part in any of it as everyone else cheered and got excited. Farrah how come you're not excited? Because reality T.V. shows are a major flop and cause a lot of drama between friends and family.

And then people are getting kicked off the show, and creating secret pacts, and some people get left out and one person secretly plans behind everyone's back to get rid of everyone except themselves, and I feel like its just a very terrible idea that I don't want any part in. And before you tell me I can help direct, or produce it or what have you, if it were up to me the whole thing would be rigged and Jack would win, and there for there would be no need for there to even be a reality show.

So count me out. And when everyone's at each other's throats and being all jumpy and paranoid, you know where to find me to tell you all I told you so, and then it will go down hill real quickly after everything spirals out of control, besides reality T.V. isn't still reality, there's nothing real about it, people know that they're being watched and pretend to be on their best behavior, or they cause drama on purpose for television ratings, or they hog all the camera time, because everyone wants the spotlight at least once in their life, and I'm no exception.

The directors and the crew and the producers will say its reality T.V. but then with the magic of editing, they'll go in and change everything you said to make you seem like the bad guy, and then everyone's all upset and scandals are happening, and everything else I haven't mentioned, and I don't want to be part of something that's gonna go spiraling out of control by the drop of a hat.

Eddie started agreeing with me, and so did Rudy but then Bobby told him he could be the host and their went Rudy. The first episode started with introducing everyone that was participating, and that only one could win the title of Wasabi Warrior. And I sat behind the camera, crossing my arms, watching the whole thing fall to pieces. G-D forbid anyone listen to me.

They were all gonna be put to the challenge of both physical and mental challenges and were told that they should all always except the unexpected. And then Rudy pushed a button that made his car blow up, to prove that nothing was to be expected. The dojo looked completely different, they were told to go pick out the places they'd be living in for the time being as they were already arguing over where that was also.

I started slow clapping. Bravo team, the challenges haven't even started and you're already proving my point by arguing over who gets what space, I give it 4 hours before things take a turn for the worst, and already plotting against each other. You all won't last 2 days before someone gets kicked off or they make an alliance for or against someone. Oh come on, we're all friends here, we're not gonna lose our heads.

Really? Then go ahead big brother, and prove me wrong, and when this is all over, I'll be here with a big mug of I told you so. In the meantime I'll be behind the cameras watching you all squirm like bait on a hook, pretending like I'm not right. And as if to prove me right already, Milton had already tricked Jerry into giving Milton the spot he wanted, since the one he wanted was closets to the bathroom.

Everyone got into their karate gear, and met Rudy outside. For the Dragon's playground, Milton and Kim and Eddie would be competing in this specific challenge to race to the finish. Kim would've won if she hadn't been knocked down by the swinging punching bags, and that left Milton to win the first challenge. His prize was a lobster dinner, while the others had to eat gruel.

I'd gotten to stay in normal clothing, and eat real food since I wasn't playing and I'd picked up pizza, and started eating that, sharing it with the directors and crew members. Hey, there were some perks to not playing in this stupid reality show game, this was just one of them, and already Kim and Jack were making a pact to kick Milton off first chance they got.

Then they got back into their uniforms and it was Jerry and Jack's turn to fight each other off whatever bridge they were on, the sad part was, or is rather, we live in a world with people are used and things are cherished, when it should be the other way around, this was all so that they could win some amazing jet ski.

Because Jerry is a yellow belt the challenge was seeming impossible, he'd get a proper stick, and Jack is a black belt and his weapon was a feather. Like what's he supposed to do with that, tickle Jerry off the bridge? This is a fighting game. No, but he could make him sneeze himself off the bridge apparently, and Jack still won.

But when he was given his prize, he declared he wasn't gonna make the same mistake as Milton and was gonna take the punishment instead, whatever that entailed. Soon it was bonfire time, and someone was gonna be getting kicked off the show. Now usually whoever won the previous challenge have an immortality for that time, but somehow Jack got voted off.

After what he'd done for his friends, they'd all stabbed him in the back and voted him off, which was weird because they were all supposed to be mad at Milton. And Jack got sent home, trying to figure out a plan on how to get back on the show, while the next day the others, or at least for the moment Eddie was feeling guilty for them voting him off.

What I tell them though? I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning and now they're all turning on each other. In front of her friends she'd played all innocent and said she was gonna miss him, but away from everyone, she was glad he was already gone, he was seen as the biggest threat and that she was sure if they didn't get rid of him, that he would've gotten rid of one of them.

Milton was agreeing with her because somehow she'd gotten him to agree with her to vote Jack off, and she pretended to play nice and told him the only way to stay on the show was by sticking together. And that Jerry was in on it too, and everyone except Eddie knew about it. And Jerry spilled the beans of what they'd decided to do.

I mean there were only 5 to start off with, this wasn't gonna take very long to get rid of everyone, of course this game wasn't fair, and Kim said it didn't matter because she was sure that Eddie would be getting voted off next anyways. And then Jerry said she said Milton was next and Milton said she said Jerry was next, and then they decided that none of them could trust each other. And then they were all mad at each other.

But then, for the challenge, a dish made best was the dish best served cold and Jack was back as special chief. That he'd prepared the food keeping them in mind and that one of them must clear their plate or he was back in the game. He'd prepared a special dish for each of his friends. But of course no one could finish it. Milton almost did, but then Jerry would eat everything, and they were sure he'd win and that Jack would not be coming back.

His plate was a saltine cracker, and he was afraid of saltine crackers, for some odd reason. His reason was because when he was younger he'd seen his grandma at the beach in a bikini, while eating one and since then he could never look at saltine's ever again. And because no one could clean their plates, Jack was back in the running.

And now here they were after all of that, awkwardly sitting in silence. And when Jack reminded them thanks to Kim that they were all on T.V. being watched, they stood in front of the cameras and told the cameras embarrassing secrets about each other, everyone was losing their heads and turning on each other, and at each other's throats, just like I'd told them.

And then, it was time for the final challenge. They thought the last challenge was gonna be easy, but they had one peg that they were supposed to hang onto, and be the last man or Kim standing. As the piece of wood they were standing on got dropped out from underneath them all. They had a huge fan blowing on them to create wind, they had a bunch of tennis like shaped balls being thrown at them, and then they had the leftovers from the food challenge dumped on them in liquid form.

And then Eddie returned my words of wisdom, that I was right that they were all friends and now they were covered in slop yelling at each other. But they now had to prove that they would stick with each other as friends no matter the prize and lose together. But then Eddie tricked them into all letting go.

Well Farrah, have they suffered enough? Bobby asked me. Yeah, this has gone on far enough, even if they all turned on each other, no one got hurt, and it will never be the same, or even enough, the only surprise was Jack getting kicked off. Jack frowned. What are you talking about? Go get all cleaned up, and I'll explain when you do.

When it was all over, they were all in the dojo, looking for me. And there I was huddled in a corner feeling guilty. I'd been having so much fun watching them all squirm, but when I saw them all hanging there, it wasn't just a game anymore. And I remembered that being me, being yelled at covered in something gross, feeling sorry for myself, like I deserved everything that was coming to me, now that I had Jack back, now that I had friends, and I did trust them, they could've never really understood until they went through everything I'd been through.

Farrah? Jack called to me. I'd jumped, I'd been in my own little world. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Come'er I think you have some explaining to do. I know I do, and I'm sorry. Why are you apologizing, you wanted no part in this, it's not your fault? Yes, it is. I told them. A couple days before this all happened, Bobby and I had been having lunch together, he wanted an idea to help make him famous again.

I'd mentioned a reality T.V. show. We came up with the idea, but I'd told him my personal gain out of all of this, it was my way of finding out both on the scenes and off if I could trust my new friends, by putting them through mentally, and semi realistically, without anyone getting hurt, what it felt like for me to be on my own not knowing who to trust, getting yelled at being abused, the whole bit.

That my point was, you can't truly understand what I've gone through and call yourselves my friends without understanding what I'd been through, each challenge was a metaphor. Even off stage you were all being watched and challenged, everything I said was true, but I didn't think anyone was gonna prove me right. This was my plan from the beginning.

It all started with the sleeping arrangements, my mom kicked me out of my room when Jack left, and got rid of most of my belongings, she'd pulled me to the attic, and let me play Cinderella. She was always yelling at me about stupid petty things, and we were always arguing about this and that, every time we did I was the only one always getting hurt out of it. Your first challenge, was what it was like on a daily basis for me, daily struggles always there to knock me down when I had just gotten back up.

The second one was the fair was unfair, nothing was fair for me, everything was almost made impossible for me to make it through the end of the day, my life was the feather, and I was Jerry, falling down onto my back every time I beat down, with noting to show for it by the end of the day except pain.

The bonfire was try and give you all a false hope of control, you thought you were in control and got rid of your biggest threats, just for that threat to come back, and shove your failures down your throat, forget about eating anything, you were in too much pain or too sick to eat anything, that if your predator was sure to let you starve to death then it was yourself, when you felt on top of the world some days, those struggles and those people where always there to watch you crumble and fall.

The last challenge, was hanging on to hope of any escape of your pain and suffering and struggles and obstacles in life, hoping that you could have a better life somewhere, and you'd thought you could get away, but your past was always there to be dumped back on you, the stuff covering you it wasn't really leftovers, it was pudding, because you hope the person who'd ruined your life would get their just desserts when karma was gonna come back around and hit that person right where it hurt, the plank was you getting life pulled from under your feet, and letting you fall to your doom if you didn't hang on to that impossible hope, that hope that you would find away to survive, and make it, and never have to go back to the past, and when you fell, and got covered in head to toe in what you thought was liquid slop, was your past coming back to get you, and pulling you back to reality, and while Eddie was still hanging on, it was every new thing you'd created to break that promise that you'd never have to go back to that again, that the new things would be there for you, but when you all fell and Eddie didn't, life betrayed you, leaving you to fend for yourself.

They all frowned. They didn't know it but mentally they'd been set up to go through what I'd gone through since as long as I could remember. The prize is you guys, the friendship seemed so believable, and it was beautiful but I know something bad is gonna come and take that all away, Rudy the jet ski is yours. And now you all feel that sting you fought so hard for something impossible just for life to take it away from you.

And it was fun watching you all squirm, but then you all got to the final challenge, ready to destroy each other, and all I could see was myself hanging onto that sad little impossible strand of hope and my mother yelling at me abusing me for nothing I did wrong. For something I didn't disserve, you fell and I saw myself let hope slip through my fingers as life betrayed me.

Farrah, I'm so sorry. What are you sorry for, you didn't hurt me? I didn't prevent it either, you were getting abused and when you needed me most I left. I was selfish because I was only thinking of myself, I thought if I wasn't there she wouldn't have me for her to compare you to, but really you got more hurt because I wasn't there for you. The part about false hope of having some kind of control, you said it was surprising, but there were more votes then their had been of us.

I lied, it wasn't surprising, cause life does that too. It lies to you, makes you feel secure, and pulls the rug out from under your feet, and then you get hurt when you least expect it, even if you knew you should've. This was all a set up. It was still filmed because I told you everyone loves that spotlight at least once in their life, my 15 mins of fame are over, I finally was able to show life who's boss. This time I win.

That was a very cleaver idea. You're not mad at me? Of course we're mad, but not at you. Kim said petting my hair. We're mad at each other, and I'm mad at mom for treating you like that, I'm sorry that you felt like you had to put us through that. I never realized or thought about how bad things were. Of course you didn't, you weren't there anymore. And that is the WORST mistake I'd ever and hopefully will ever make in my life. And I hope you can forgive me.

He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, as he held me. And I cried. We're together now, that's what matters Jack. Just promise me one thing. Anything. That if mom does find me and comes back for me, that you won't leave me this time, or I'll never forgive you or trust you ever again. I promise. We all do. Kim said playing with my hair. And we're sorry. From now on, we'll be right there for you when you need us, and we'll be there for each other too, we're not gonna fight like this ever again, or turn on each other, because we're gonna remember this day and how it made you feel, and we don't want you to feel that way ever again.

And I'm gonna protect you with my life, like I should've been doing instead of leaving. Then I hope you all learned your lesson. Don't worry, message received little sister, message received, he said ruffling my hair kissing my forehead. I love you. I love you too. I think you win this challenge, you're definitely a warrior, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.