I emerge from the cave with my tears dried into salty line around my eyes, Thoughts filling my head and the sun shining much too brightly for such a dark moment. No one is paying me any attention. The horses are being watered and fed, the seats are being dusted and the drivers have switched the knotted reins.
My father spares me one accusatory glance, tapping his axe harness lightly. Subconsciously I tap the dagger tucked in my skirt and pressed against my thigh. Of course, he doesn't know it is there. I hurry and sit in the front chariot, fold my hands across my lap and tuck my hair into a soft cap. I watch, removed from the scene, as the group comes together and we roll off. I watch the cave disappear into the hazy afternoon then watch the sides of the road.
As we travel, I begin to notice something I didn't see on the way. I must have been too nervous to see alters in disrepair along the way. Sun has blanched the statues and soil covers the steps. Shrubs and weeds have nestled in cracks along the marble and there are no offerings. It is unsettling to say the least. In our little world, the Gods are the highest power. What would cause such ruin to befall these sacred places.
When I notice an entire marble bust rolled in the dust I demand we stop. This space looks utterly abandoned. The aura of peace that shrouds most alters is broken here. The air seems almost bitter.
I have always been respectful of the Gods. I pray before my meals and give offerings in passing. I understand their power and fear it. I have a duty to this altar. My Father rolls his eyes. But it is worth a beating to fulfill my duty. May the Gods strike him down.
I pick up my annoyingly long skirt and walk to the centre of the space. I reach out my hand and brush dust and debris off the remaining statue in the middle. Aphrodite. Goddess of beauty and love, stares down at me serenely. I shudder. This all feels like some terrible game, as though the Gods are toying with me.
I pick up as best I can. I toss branches out and refill the vases with fresh wildflowers. I lift myself back into the chariot ruffled but feeling much better.
We continue the journey until we reach the outskirts of the castle. Big merchant oikos shine white and blue. The cobbles are clean and there is a smell of fresh laundry and flower petals. As we pass through, I begin to hear whispers. A Goddess? Yes, she must be. I've heard she is more glorious than Aphrodite herself! I pull my bonnet tighter and shrink into my seat, although I can feel my father's eyes burn holed through me. I put out an offering to her last night. She should have an alter! I cringe. This is too much. I ask to stop our procession once again but no one cares. This is getting out of hand. Pulling my skirt up into my hands, I leap off the chariot, landing in a big puff on a tiled square.
"Psyche!" My father yells harshly. I ignore him, push up on the floor and climb onto a wooden crate.
"I am no Goddess!" I raise my voice to the people. "Please, stop saying that! I have seen desecrated alters. Do you have any respect at all? Shame on you!" This will become disastrous for me and for all of them. I shiver at the thought of Aphrodite's wrath. No one can imagine what pain she could inflict if angered. But they will not stop. What a tragic hero she is. I begin to panic. So I run. I run away from the people and my father. I run to my chambers and I weep and I pray and I wish I were not this way.
The people are beginning to worship me instead of Aphrodite. Her temples are left empty and miserable as rumour spreads from gossip whispered in apeleia and taverna. I spend the day in my bedroom, scared for my life with nothing to do but pray. So I do. To Aphrodite. I ask her to understand me. To have mercy on the people and on me. When I do not know what to say, I pray to Eros too. I tell him all my wishes and thoughts. I talk to him until my tears dry and until I fall asleep.
Maybe I will go to meet my husband after all. Maybe a monster is better than death
I fall asleep with tears drying on my cheek and my decision made.
I will meet the monster.
