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First Impression Vibes: While the cover is colorful, which I like, it is primarily confusing. I don't get any sense of what genre this book is or what it's about. I also don't know who it is by. After I stared for a while, I did see the author's initials. I highly recommend making that text much easier to read as well as using the author's full name. The font and appearance of the title are quite nice, however.
After Blurb Vibes: I'm still confused. The cover is basically abstract art. It's pretty because I like abstract art, but it tells me nothing about the book or story. I don't have an understanding of what genre I'm going to read or any hint as to what the book is about.
Overall, I would rate this cover as a 1 out of 10. It needs to be more relevant. I wish I had more to say, but it is too abstract to get much more than this.
Blurb Review:
Reducing it down to bare bones, I get that Kara is a bullied orphan girl who hears voices. So, I know the MC and what might be the conflict. I don't know anything about the stakes and their consequences. The burb introduces the main character with a bit too much detail and not enough attention to the story.
Overall, I would rate this blurb as a 2 out of 10. This isn't to say that what is written is bad, it's just not doing the job we want it to do. I recommend reading this article about writing blurbs. I think it might help. I will ask Team of Dreams to post the link as an end comment so you have a link that works, at least on the computer.
First, let's start with the title. Does it hook me? I feel like it's not a bad title per se. A lot can be told just by having the main character's name as the title. I personally don't feel anything when I just see a character's name as the title. But that's just me. That definitely doesn't mean I would not give the story a chance, same with other readers. But just seeing the title, I'm not exactly entranced or initially hooked.
Onto chapters one and two. They could use a lot of work, but most of my points will be in the plot section. Am I hooked? No. The main reason being that the chapters could use a lot of work. Neither the first nor second chapter really grab my attention. They don't exactly make me go "wow, I need to know more!"
If I had to rate the hook, I would give it a very low rating. Again, most of my points will be due to the plot. Please see below.
Plot Development Review:
Now onto the plot. First, I want to say that it's an interesting concept. The idea you've come up with is very unique and I think something like this could be so enjoyable. You've pulled us into a fantasy world where there are people called 'Enchantians'. It's obviously a small community of people, but I like the idea of them finding each other and figuring out what's going on.
My main key takeaway is that the plot is very all over the place. First of all, we open up to the fact that Kara is not a normal 13 year old. She's had a hard life and has obviously been abused in the orphanage she was raised in. Then we move on and see that she's also bullied at school but not given a reason why. Just because? That's not the issue. The problem is how each situation arises and then how it's handled.
Readers are bouncing from one thing to another and everything just feels so rushed. Because then as we're introduced to Nico, I'm left wondering how the MC can just trust a stranger. Yes, he's about her age, we don't ever learn his age; we do know he's a minor. But this minor is just able to operate a vehicle? Things like that arise and just don't make sense in my honest opinion.
But back to the fact that she just trusts this new character. He then brings her to his home and she asks zero questions. Which, okay, she may not want to return to the orphanage where she's not even given a proper meal. But to still trust someone she's just met?
Then all of a sudden she's being fostered by Nico's family? At one point, Kara brings up the fact that her orphanage wouldn't just hand over her documents. Good point she brings up, but the orphanage also wouldn't just suddenly decide to let some guy foster her without the child being in the presence of them. There's just a lot of details that are looked over and don't make sense.
If I had to rate the plot, I would genuinely give it an extremely low rating. It needs a lot of work. I would have loved to finish reading the story because it is marked as complete if I saw correctly, but I did stop at the bare minimum of five chapters. I found it extremely hard to enjoy the story despite the amazing concept you've laid out.
To sum it up, there's a huge disconnect here, the story moves too fast, and so much of it doesn't make sense. If you're ever giving this a rewrite, consider slowing down. Try to piece together details that would make sense in the real world. While it is a fantasy novel, we do still start out with her being just a normal girl before she finds out she's an Enchantian.
Please feel free to reach out if you need any more clarity on my thoughts!
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