Flourish - A Review Shop by TeamOfDreams - On Hiatus

Outset

Author's Name:

RodrickLR

Reviewer:

sky_is_limit

Review Type:

Plot, Character

Plot Development Review:

I think you do pretty well with the plot. You're really good at the action you've written. It keeps things really interesting in my honest opinion. As someone who doesn't really know what Overwatch is I feel half and half on the plot.

Part of me feels like we need a little bit more background information to really solidify and know what's going on. The other part of me feels like we don't always need as much background info. I think it's certain places where things get mentioned where I feel we need just a little more information.

Just for me personally, I found a lot of the technical stuff a little confusing. But, that could just be me not understanding sci-fi lingo. One thing I think could help round out the story is a little more description on the setting. There were a lot of pictures to make up for it and I feel like we could use a little more written description.

But in general, I think the plot is okay. One other thing I want to mention is the POV changes. I was confused when it switched from Aren to Brigitte without a clear statement like "Aren's POV". I would highly recommend doing so because for me, it was jarring. I had to go back to the beginning and see where the shift happened.

If I had to rate the plot, I'd say 5/10. It's not bad at all and I think Overwatch fans will really enjoy this. As for me, I feel like I just don't know much about the game to get a really good grasp on the story. Past that, I do think it's on a good track with how many chapters there are.

Character Development Review:

As I mentioned above, I think there could have been more character description rather than the pictures we're given. We could've gotten there hair color, height, etc. through character interaction, actions, etc. I did notice some comments saying that people enjoyed the photos presented, so this is more of a subjective topic.

Past that, I think you do a great job expressing the characters emotions and personalities through your writing quite well. We first see Aren and I think his personality is shown thoroughly through the accident which he unfortunately caused. We can see how upset he is with what's been happening and how he's going to be kind of kicked out, or let go.

Furthermore, Angela's difference in attitude between Aren and everyone else is done well. I feel like you really know how to chapter a character's feelings/emotions through their actions. Her walking past him coldly set the mood just right. Great job.

My last point will be about the character schematics. I feel like so much of that information can be sprinkled throughout each chapter rather than it all set out in a character description page. I think that's the only real criticism I have towards the character development.

If I had to rate the character development, I'd say 7/10! I thought you did this really well. Hopefully your review made sense and I hope it wasn't too harsh. If you need any more clarity on anything, please feel free to reach out.