Memory Fragments

The Beginning Of The End (VIII/X)

So, what is this lonely peak I speak of? To paraphrase a quote I often reminisce about, some say the brightest persons cast the darkest of shadows. That, the happier the person, the sadder their past experiences. Well, even in the darkest shadows, the faintest glow can be seen from anywhere. Like a lighthouse, shining faintly for everyone to see and not end up crashing or getting lost like them.

Even in the highest of peaks, you're still bound to the earth and its cries. Every person, no matter how far apart from reality they are, or how wrong they have been, as long as they draw breath, can be redeemed. The only problem with that is, and it's something no one has control over but themselves, is their willingness to.

Perhaps they feel overbearing guilt. Or committed an irreversible crime. Maybe they just were at the wrong time in the wrong place and were made victims of third parties. All in all, these people are made enemies of us for one reason or another even though they may not even have motives to be so or the means to clean their names. Or maybe they do and simply have accepted their fate knowing nothing they do will reverse things and will only make them worse, so the only thing left to do is continue being that which the public made them be.

This peak is built for those shunned away by society. It's not a natural thing, but a construct of us to place that which we despise in the spotlight for everyone to see. Why? Because we would rather sweep things under the rug instead of cleaning them. We made them what they are. We caused them to do the things they did, do, and will do. We caused them to be alone in their suffering. We neglected them and their needs so they were left with only one option. To satisfy theirs by force. After all, if no one is willing to help you, you must do it by yourself, right?

But, what if there's another way to do things? To go about it, you know. Well, when you are at a peak, there are only two ways to go. You either walk back the way you came and retrace everything that you did while reflecting upon it in hopes to find a path to a better place, or you jump off, seeing as you fall the roads you missed along the way of your self-exile.

Loneliness is often misunderstood as self-isolation. And self-isolation is often mistaken for sadness. Sadness can be cured with simple endorphins. Loneliness cannot be. I'm not trying to justify. Nor cover or protect. I'm trying to exemplify and state the origin of our problems. People are pushed to loneliness, not born in it. Tell me, have you ever felt lonely? That, no matter what you did, you just couldn't bring yourself to others because of shame, guilt, indifference toward you by them, or any such things? Well, then that makes them the ones in the wrong and not you, right? Because they neglected you even though you tried. Well, you should've tried yourself first before trying to look at others for help and resenting them for not giving it.

The worst thing to do is to neglect yourself and turn your back on the world. Why? Because you are sacrificing the only thing you always have and it's the only thing you can show to the world that is worth noticing. Yourself. Neglect yourself, and you have no self to show. Just a husk that presents itself to be filled with whatever the world decides you are now made of.

It does not matter if you must embrace even the darkest of shadows to shield someone else, even if those shielded cannot see the one casting said shadow. But, remember, the brightest of lights can also be obstructed even by the tiniest of clouds. As someone once said, it only takes but one bad day to drive someone to see the world with their eyes backward. A world inside their heads, not the real one. Whichever your goal is, you are not worth the sacrifice. Everything requires sacrifice, but not one made out of your flesh, mind, and or self.

All in all, it does not matter who you were, are, or will be. What you did, do, or will do. Not even the reasons for your doings nor what came, comes, and or will come of them. Even in loneliness, or surrounded by everything and or everyone, one has to sacrifice to achieve. Sacrifice resources, people, lands, values, moralities, forgo oneself and or others, anything and everything but one's humanity.

I call all of those things investments because, the only thing we can, indeed, sacrifice, is time and life itself. You can get all of those said things back, but not time or life. Why? Because you cannot invest what is borrowed and expect to be given back as if it were yours.