Finding Love in France (Alternate Version)

Part 47: Broken

Steve went to check on Bucky before heading to dinner. As he walked into his room, he noticed what was probably a meal tray smashed against the wall. "Redecorating?" Steve tried to joke.

"What the hell do you want?" Bucky snarled, refusing to look at his best friend. "Did she send you?"

"No, pal. She doesn't know I'm here..." Steve sighed. "...I don't know what to say right now without sounding like I'm mad at you, even though I know it's not your fault..."

"So don't. Keep your fucking mouth shut for once." Bucky cut him off.

Steve walked up to the side of the bed and punched him in the leg. "How about you shut up and listen for a minute, you jackass?!"

Bucky winced from the punch, then let out a heavy sigh. "What the hell am I supposed to do here? I can't trust myself and I won't put her or you in danger just because I'm fucking broken..." tears ran down his cheeks. "I almost killed her, Steve!" He cried, starting to shake. "What if she hadn't been able to get free? What if she wasn't so strong? What if we were on a mission and I went after you?" He searched his friend's face for answers.

"Buck..." Steve sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "...I don't know what to do, but I know that Mila, Stark, Peggy and me have been working nonstop trying to figure this thing out." He paused, wondering if he should tell him anything else, not wanting to get his hopes up. "We're meeting at dinner to go over options."

"Options? Like what, taking me out back and shooting me? That sounds like the best strategy right now..." Bucky was still crying. "Steve, I can't live with myself, knowing what I did to her...she's not safe around me, nobody is..."

Steve clamped his hand on Bucky's right arm. "Don't talk like that, that's not helping anything." He took a deep breath. "I know you are just trying to protect Mila by pushing her away, but if anyone can help you, it's her. She's not going to give up on you. She loves you and is trying her best to fix this."

"Steve, I love her so much it scares me..." Bucky cried. "...and I love her enough to know she's better off without me..." he started crying hysterically, unable to catch his breath.

"Jesus, Buck...what the hell did they do to you?" Steve tried to comfort his friend while calling for a nurse to come sedate him.