Celestial Heartbeat (Book One) COMPLETE

Chapter Thirty Four - Circles (REN)

Note: I've been sick these past few days, but alas, here is an update! I had to go look up an older chapter to remember what Evie saved her name under in Ren's phone, too.

Evie and I stood silently by a large oak tree of the cemetery, on looking the pure white coffin that was the centre of attention. We were just far enough away from the funeral service and crowds of people so that we could go undetected. Evie squeezed my hand tightly and I gave her a small, reassuring squeeze back. I was sure that the group of people clothed in black brought back a lot of bad memories for her. Not to mention that she felt as guilty as I did for Mary's death. We had not known Marcy well, or really at all, but Evie had made me promise to go with her to Marcy's funeral. Even for just a few minutes to pay our respects to the girl who had gotten caught up in the mess that we created.

Watching her coffin being lowered to the ground was like taking another stab to my side. I had unshakable amounts of survivor's guilt that I didn't know how to express or deal with. Wherever I had been during those moments when I died, Marcy had been with me. She should have been able to come back with me, but she couldn't. It didn't make sense.

"R-ren?" Evie whispered tentatively, staring down at the hand that I'd been doing my best to hide at my side. I was making a tight fist and my fingernails were pressing so hard against my skin that I was just waiting for it to pierce through. I loosened my fist and turned my attention away from the coffin and to Evie instead. Her forehead was creased and under the light of the sun I could see tears glimmering on the side of her face.

"I'm fine." I told her. It was the truth. I was fine, frustratingly fine. The wound on my side had been stitched up and was healing and even though I knew we were bound to hear from her sooner, rather than later, Rebecca had otherwise disappeared. It was both good and strangely unsettling. Like she was hanging back in the wings until she had formed a proper plan. Even my family had been left alone once more, with Alex and Chris seemingly clueless when they returned to their human form. This was about as good as life was going to get for me. But Marcy... she was gone.

I tried my hardest to remember what had happened in my moment after death, but everything was hazy and cut up like trying to watch an old film that had been over-watched and over-loved. Only, I didn't love this memory, I just wished to see it once so that I would understand.

Once the gathering of people had left Marcy's grave Evie and I stepped forward, closing the gap between us and Marcy's coffin. I could already see in the distance, the men heading our way that would surely full in Marcy's grave with the rest of the dirt. Evie gazed over Marcy's coffin and spoke so softly that I could not hear her properly, but I could make out just enough to know that she was both apologizing and thanking Marcy. I wanted to say something, too, but found myself lacking the words to express anything that I felt, so kept my mouth shut.

"Are you ready to go?" Evie asked me when she finished speaking.

"Sure, are y-" I was interrupted speaking with the feeling of something brushing against the side of my leg. I jumped back in fright. Much to my surprise, Evie giggled.

"It's just a kitten," She explained with an all too casual smile. "I wonder how he got here."

That terrified me just as much. Not because I was particularly scared of small cats, but rather I was scared of seeing a certain pure white feline again, as I wasn't quite sure how he would react if he knew I wasn't exactly in the same state as he last saw me — dead, while his girlfriend did remain in that state. But when I looked down at the small creature that had bumped into me it was clear it wasn't Cosmo. It's face was far too fluffy and it's fur was a deep ginger, similar to my own fur as a wolf.