Save Me

[4]

My mother is a very touchy subject for me. For as far back as I can remember it was always just me and my father. He never really told me anything about her. When I was still with my father I would always imagine what she was like. What her name is, what she looked like, if I looked like her or even if she was still alive.

When I was taken away from my father I would always dream that one day she would come through the door of the foster home and take me back. But I guess that's every foster child's dream. And as you know, that never happened.

After I got adopted by Kristin and Taylor, my questioning about my mother kind of took a back seat to all the other things I had going on. As I got older I started to get more curious. Even though Kristin and Taylor were and still are the best parents I could ask for, I feel like I had to know. So a few days after my 15th birthday I asked Taylor to see if she can find my what happened to my birth mother.

At first Taylor was hesitant but she agreed. I reassured her after she said yes that it wasn't because I wanted to live with her. I just wanted some answers, some peace of mind.

It took Taylor about a month to get back to me on what she found. I came home from school one day and found her sitting at the dining room table with a folder in front of her.

"I know you wanted to know but I don't know if you should." Taylor said as I sat down next to her.

"I want to know." I said and looked at her.

Taylor nodded and pushed the folder over to me. I opened it and scanned the papers inside the folder. The first thing I saw was a picture of her. Tears rush to my eyes as my fingers brushed against her face. I look just like her.

I didn't even look at the rest of the stuff in the folder. Taylor took the folder from me while I just stared at the photo. Taylor later explained that my mother whose name was Jenna died giving birth to me. Apparently she had an aneurysm in her brain. The stress she experienced in labor caused it to burst and the doctors couldn't save her.

It was a lot to take in. A part of me wanted her to be alive so I could meet her. But I realized that if she was alive I would be with her and my father. Not Kristin and Taylor.

"I spoke with your father." Taylor said and my head snapped up to her.

"Why?" I asked.

"I needed your mother's name. I probably could have gotten it off your birth certificate but I wanted to talk with him." Taylor said

"Why would you want to talk to him?" I asked.

"I talked to him so I could get these." Taylor said and pushed three more photos towards me.

The first picture is of my father and mother when they were younger. My dad has his arm wrapped around my mom's waist. They could only be in there early 20's in this picture. The second one is a photo of them on their wedding day. Their foreheads are touching and it looks like they are dancing. My dad is just in his dress shirt but my mom is still in her wedding dress. Her wedding dress if beautiful. Pure white with lace all around the top of the gown with a small train in the back.

The last photo is of the three of us. My mom just gave birth to me and is holding my in her arms with my father standing right by her side watching me over her shoulder. Our only family photo.

I thanked Taylor so much for everything. She didn't have to do any of this so I was so happy. When I was giving her a hug Kristin came home and saw us.

"I want in!" She said and joined us. Taylor and I both chuckled. Kristin is a big hugger.

I keep her picture on me everywhere I go. That weekend Moms took me to her grave. I was very emotional that day. It was very weird to go see her grave since I've never met her before. So I just sat in front of her grave with her picture in my hand.