Save Me

[1]

Then

Waiting around the foster home is something I have been doing since I got here. Amy said that she will find me another couple to adopt me but I don't want anybody else other than my dad. Amy keeps telling me he isn't coming back but I know he will be. He doesn't leave me for long.

This is the third time I've been in a foster home. The first time I was 6 and didn't really know what was going on. But the next time I was 7 and dad told me that he was going to work. But after 2 days he didn't come back and I got scared, so I called Amy and she got me.

This time was different though. I was 8 now and we went to court, Daddy lost. Amy told me I wasn't going to see Daddy again but I know he will be back. He always comes back.

I stayed with Amy in the foster home for a few months before a couple wanted to adopt me. C.T. and Maria. They were really nice. They never hurt me like Daddy did and they always had food. I started school again and everything was good. Until that day. C.T. and Maria went out for the night and they got me a babysitter.

They never came home. Amy told me that C.T. and Maria were killed in a car accident. I was with them for almost a year.

Amy welcomed me back into the home. A few days later it was my 9th birthday and Amy took me to play at the park. Just her and I. When we were at the park I saw Daddy. Amy tried to get me to leave but she couldn't. I ran over to Daddy and he hugged me. Daddy gave me a birthday present and then left again. Amy had to drag me back to the foster home after that.

A few days after my birthday Amy told me that she had a gift for me. The gift was that she found me another couple who wants to adopt me, that couple being Kristin and Taylor.

Now

"Erica" I heard Curtis say my name.

My train of thought got derailed as I focused back on the present, not the past. I took a breath and remembered that we are in his office at the treatment center.

"That's enough for today Erica. This was great progress." Curtis said and closed his notebook.

I got up from my chair and gave him a smile before walking out of his office. The heavy emotions of the last therapy session got to me and I can feel myself panicking, the urge to cut is coming on fast and I know I can't.

My feet started running towards the door and before I knew it I pushed the door open and stumbled outside. We really aren't allowed to be out here but right now I don't care. I need some fresh air. My knees fell into the wet grass and I laid out on my back.

The sky is grey and I wouldn't be surprised if it started raining. It rains at least once every two days here. I am definitely an outdoors person. If I have to stay inside all day I kind of go crazy. Being struck inside all day makes me feel like an animal in a cage, just waiting for the moment when I will be free again.

For the past three months I have been ignoring everybody. Just going through the motions, not trying to change or get better. I haven't had the reason to want to change. But now I do.

"Erica what are you doing out here?" Someone asked.

"I need a minute." I said.

"You have already had 5 Erica." The nurse said.

"I need another minute, go talk to Curtis!" I said.

This was the first time in a month I have been outside. I want to soak this up, as much as I can before they force me to go back inside. My mind finally seemed to calm down from this morning but then her eyes invaded my mind.