Sepulchre There by the Sea - A Fairytale Green fanfiction

More Than Love - Part 8

Trigger warning: Drug content 😶

This WILL be a double update. I'm posting part 8 and part 9 today, so don't assume I'm leaving you all on the upcoming cliffhanger. ;)

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I wasn't fully aware of what was going on as Ren tried to calm me down, putting both her hands on my face, her warm eyes staring into my tear-filled ones.

"Babe I'm going to need you to breathe a little, please," Ren said gently, hiding her panic beneath the kind words.

I ran my hand through my hair, gasping. "I- I," I took a shuddering breath. "I c-can't." I fell into a fresh round of sobs, my hand going from my mangled hair to my mouth, covering it as I let out cry after cry.

Ren's eyes hardened suddenly. "Did something happen? During your interview? Did he hurt you, or touch you?"

I shook my head wildly, hiccuping. "No, no, no," I gasped and bit my hand in an attempt to silence myself. "No, no, no, no," I said again, shaking my head incessantly.

Ren pulled me close to her and began stroking my hair, pressing me to her chest. "It's okay baby, you don't need to talk. I'm sorry." She gestured to Maliwan to come over to her and started murmuring to her, too quiet for me to hear.

I shut my eyes tight, squeezing them until my head hurt and colorful spots clouded my vision. I had pushed aside the memory of my freshman year of college so deep inside my mind, down with every other memory from high school that I had suppressed. And now, all of the sudden, they were rushing back and I was overwhelmed, I couldn't stop it all from drowning me.

I was remembering every moment I had cried over the fact that Jake had those pictures of me, I was remembering every moment I had spent high out of my mind, so numb - as I had hoped to forget even a little of the horrible things for even just a minute.

My head hurt so much, my heart was stabbing my ribcage, begging to come out. My skin burned with every mistake I had ever made, and I could no longer hear for my ears were blocked with all the dirty, unwanted words that had been said to me, as they flooded back in waves and built a tall, barbed gate.

I stood up abruptly, making both Ren and Maliwan look at me in concern. "I- I'm going home," I pushed out quietly, making my way to the door.

Ren rushed after me, slowly slipping between me and the exit. "...Ella... I don't feel comfortable letting you go home alone right now, not when I don't know what's wrong."

I didn't meet her eyes. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just need to get home and sleep."

Maliwan stepped forward, her dark eyes studying me with kindness. "You can sleep here. Ren and I will take the couch."

I shook my head. "No, no. It's okay. I'll go home. I'll get an Uber."

Ren bit her lip but didn't move. "Ella, I'm sorry. I can't let you go home alone."

I shrugged and tried to push past her. "Okay, so come with me. I want to- I want to sleep in my own bed."

I tapped my foot on the ground, shutting my eyes briefly as Maliwan and Ren communicated silently.

When I opened my eyes Ren was nodding softly. "Okay, we'll come home with you."

Maliwan smiled gently. "And Tyler will be there, so you'll have him."

I laughed sharply, blinking hard. "He's not gonna be home. He works 'till the AM."

Maliwan and Ren exchanged a glance.

"Okay, well, we'll stay with you until he does come back," Ren stated, and then opened the door and led me down the stairs and into her car.

I sat in the back silently as Maliwan and Ren from up in the front stole glances back at me once every minute.

When we arrived in front of my complex, I got out on my own, walking blindly past the doorman and into the elevator, ignoring Ren and Maliwan's concerned eyes.

My hands were shaking and my eyes were tearing up once more when we finally got into my apartment.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I muttered to the two, and then hurried away and shut the bathroom door, sliding down to the floor and covering my face, my previous facade crumbling.

I broke down, silently sobbing and shaking, barely able to breathe.

Fuck Jake for doing this to me. Fuck Alex, Lucas, Elijah, and Dante. Fuck all of them.

I stood up and held onto the sink, my knuckles turning white as I stared at the mirror, at my red face and swollen eyes, at my running mascara and dried tear-streaks, and at my torn and bleeding lips.

Seeing myself made me once more burst into another round of misery, my heart completely disappearing as sobs tore through my throat, ripping me inside out.

Without thinking of the repercussions, I pulled the bathroom cabinet open, sticking my hand in and wildly fishing for my old makeup bag. When I found the black purse, I opened it, my hands trembling as I searched inside for the secret I had kept away for all this time.

When I found the two small bags, one of fine, white powder, and one with three small orange tablets, I started shaking, my mind begging me not to touch the stuff I had finally forgotten.

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

My full body was trembling as more and more memories flooded my mind, and soon all my rationale and common sense drowned in the pain.

I ripped open the bag and tipped the tablets into my mouth, dry swallowing them with a grimace. Stop. I poured the powder onto the cover of an old contour pallet and made messy lines, leaning down and snorting it all, falling back as my eyes teared up from the pain.

What would Stone think.

The thought flashed across my consciousness causing me to fall into a panic, knowing what would happen. The man I loved, the man who loved me, would be repulsed at the sight of me. He would regret waiting so long for me. He would hate me.

The thoughts made my heart speed up, and as the drugs began to take effect and my mind started to shut down, I only thought of how Stone would despise me. How he would be disgusted with the person I had become.

I could no longer think straight as the room turned into a swirling mess and my lips parted, drool dripping down my chin. My hands tremored and my head jerked. I knew my heart hurt. I knew it hurt, I knew I was in pain. But hell, I didn't care. My mind had gone silent. The world had fallen quiet. I didn't know anything about anything and that was so calming and perfect. Everything was perfect.

I had been lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling as my heart pounded in panic. I wasn't sure how long I had been there, but the door suddenly burst open, and from my hazy vision I could see Ren standing there in absolute panic, her eyes wide as she took me in.

Time passed, perhaps it was seconds or years I couldn't tell, but lights were flashing red and blue and my heart was beating faster than it ever had before, my throat hurt and my mind was empty and everything was blurry, first I couldn't hear and then I couldn't see and soon I could not feel a thing, I did not know what was happening or who was there or where I was, it was so silent and the silence was so loud, and then everything stopped.

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Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Part 9 will be posted in an hour or two, I won't keep you waiting. It's also gonna be in a special someone's POV ;)