Phantom Love

Chapter 36

        I'm surprised when my eyes open and I'm in a warm cocoon that smells of sandalwood but I decide to stay here a while. I snuggle closer to the warmth and sigh contentedly. I crack and eye open and look up from the chest my head is resting on and see that the warmth I'm curled up against is Kei. This is a great dream, I'm just going to keep laying here. I'm laying directly on top of him somehow and his arms are both wrapped around me and linked at my lower back. He's sleeping and I can't help but admire him with a sleepy gaze for a few minutes.

       Then, my brain has to remind me of why we blacked out in the first place. Images of tearing metal, my other mates, the prisoners, and the familiar tentacles that wrapped themselves around me right before everything went black race across my mind. My heart starts to hammer as I check in on my body. I don't feel like I just went a round with 20 odd guards and a freezing cold ocean, which is weird. Wait, does this mean I'm dead? Is this heaven? Does that mean Kei is dead too? I think about my other mates and what they must be going through now that I'm dead.

        I sit up abruptly, crawling off of Kei as I try to find some air. I look around, air rushing in and out of me too quickly to supply me with any real relief, and then all of a sudden Kei is in front of me. I can't tell what he's saying but I watch as he takes a big breath in then lets it out. I copy him and match my breathing to his as his thumbs make circles palms and that draws me even more into myself. Eventually the panic subsides and I'm just staring into Kei's eyes when my brain kicks in. Wait! I'm in an actual body, or something like that, we were touching a minute ago so that means... and, without further ado, I launch myself at him for a kiss. I have a feeling I may have said that last bit out loud instead of just thought it because a laugh escapes him as he catches me easily. 

      Somehow, during all the panic, he moved us onto the edge of the bed. He's kneeling before me and somehow is still the same height as me. Our lips meet and my legs wrap around his waist before I can even consciously make the decision. My hands make their way up his chest and to his shoulders as one of his moves to my ass, holding up my weight, as the other buries itself into my hair. Before I can do all the things I want him to do he groans and reluctantly breaks the kiss, putting as much distance as he can between us in this position. I can't help but pout, that was about to get good. 

       He sees my expression and sighs, "I'm sorry I had to stop you but before you go any further there are things I want to tell you." 

       I just smile at him and nod, all the guys have needed to do this, so it's not a surprise Kei needs to as well. When he sees me patiently waiting he takes a deep breath and begins speaking.

       "I should have told you this right away but I didn't know how. I didn't want to lose you so quickly after finding you." He leans forward, his eyes changing to the galaxy pattern I love so much, and presses his forehead against mine. An image flashes in my mind, an image of starlight tentacles, belonging to the being I've always considered my best friend. 

       When he pulls away I see something else peeking out from behind his eyes before they change into the dark and soulful brown of Kei's normal eyes, the loneliness not as deep as it was before. Then I remember Jim's eyes, the hauntingly familiar loneliness that's been gnawing at the edges of my mind since I met him and everything snaps into place. I'm pretty sure my brain shorts out for a second as my jaw drops.

       So here he is, my best friend. Well now he's my mate AND my best friend. It's like I got a 2 for 1 special and didn't even know I was getting it. How do I feel? Well honestly, I'm psyched. I can skip the boring explanation of where I was for all those decades before meeting the guys. He already knows all that and accepts me anyway, wants me, anyway. He knows the deepest parts of me, the things I couldn't tell anyone else and I'm comforted by that fact.