Phantom Love

Chapter 23: Drazik

        I look down at the woman in my arms and smile as I trace my finger lightly along her jaw line, basking in the beauty of her. We've been mated now for over an hour and, while I should be getting some sleep, I can't keep my eyes off of her. I also still have a strange kind of energy coursing through my body from whatever Raven's magic did to me to claim me. It feels like I have hundreds of electrical currents coursing through my body. 

        Knowing I won't be able to sleep just yet I softly press my lips to her forehead before slowly sliding out of bed, making my way into the bathroom to take a quick shower. I'm hoping that it will relieve some of this tension but it's just that, a hope. As I stand under the scalding spray my mind wanders to the woman I left behind in my bed. I've known since the moment I laid eyes on her that she was mine and I'm under the impression that Kieran and Dre also felt that way even if they're demons kept them from knowing it right away. Hell even Emerson had a soft spot for her right off the bat. The only one that was too thick headed to see past their own shit was Forrest. 

        I tend to stay quiet until conflict develops. When it does I simply step in and cut straight to the root of the problem. So when I witnessed Raven literally pass out after Forrest projected his own shit onto her, causing her harm, I couldn't hold back anymore. I generally wait to wade into conflict because I see every perspective, I understand where everything is coming from, but I'm not willing to fix other people's problems for them. So when I saw Raven go down I couldn't hold back anymore and I told Forrest exactly what I thought about what he was doing. I will never forget the devastated look in his eyes when he realized what he had been doing. I'm not sure if he'll ever forgive himself fully but I'm happy to see him loosening up a little. 

        He's also started coming to me to work through some of his emotional shit again. The guys generally come to me when they have problems with their personal lives. Emerson is the guy everyone goes to when it comes to their professional lives but I'm who the guys turn to when they need someone to set their head straight. Most people tend to perceive me as blunt and stubborn which is true, to an extent. What most don't understand though, if it's gotten to the point where I'm actually voicing an opinion it means that both sides have lost perspective and I'm tired of listening to their shit. Which means yes, I tend to be a bit blunt but it always helps in resolving the conflict. 

        I'm the true peacekeeper of the group. Emerson and Forrest are the decision makers, Kieran and Leandre are the lighthearted ones, and I keep the peace. There's always little spats here and there like what movie we should watch or what we should do for dinner and I let Em and Forrest deal with that shit, I wade in when it's big enough that it could tear apart our group. I also keep a lookout for my brothers mental states. Most of them aren't willing to deal with their own emotions so when I see them going down the road of self destruction I pull them aside and talk it out with them. 

       After being taken captive and being forced to fight and kill for decades I had a lot of demons to overcome. At first I was a stubborn asshole, not willing to deal with my own personal issues and becoming suspicious and wary of everyone. Ivar, Forrest and I's old team lead, eventually forced me into therapy. Over the years I did a lot of self reflection and came to understand that I can't simply numb myself to emotions like anger but instead I need to embrace them and work through them. I understand that now and I constantly work to improve myself by identifying and subduing my ego. I help the rest of my brothers when I can but I can only give as much help as they're willing to take. 

        Before my thoughts can go down any more rabbit holes I feel an intense pain arc across my chest and I fall to my knees, trying to keep my breath even. I look down and watch as black tendrils start to arc across my skin. As the pain ramps up even more I have to close my eyes to keep the tortured groan making it's way up my throat inside. I know what's happening and I know not to worry about it but I don't want to wake up Raven and have her worrying about me. The amount of magic coursing through me is astronomical and there's a part of me in complete awe as I understand just how powerful Raven really is.