Emma's Six- Six the Musical

Ex-Wives

On the TV, the lights start flashing, illuminating the six women. One is in gold, one in green, another in silver, one in red, one in pink, and the last one in blue. "They look like our old costumes!" Jane says. 
"Oh, yes, I remember!" Anna says. "I was devastated when they broke." 
"Maybe we remade them?" 
"That is one possibility." 

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Devoured
Smith-White: Survived

Aragon: And tonight, Wattpad, we are...

"What on Earth is Wattpad?" Captain Smith asks. 
"I'm just as confused as you are, Captain," older Emma says. 

All: Live!

The curtain pulls away, and older Emma sees the officers glancing at each other, some with confusion, others with bewilderment or disgust. "Hey, if you're going to look like that at our costumes, we're turning it off!" Jane says. 
"Was it necessary to show that much skin?" Herbert asks. 
"We loved those costumes! Besides, it's fairly normal in the twenty-first century."
"Thank God we do not live there," Captain Smith mutters. Emma glares at him. 

Aragon: Listen up, let me tell you a story
Boleyn: A story that you think you heard before
Seymour: We know you know our names and our fame and our faces
Cleves: Know all about the glories and the disgraces
Howard: We're done 'cause all this time 
We've been just one word in a stupid rhyme
Smith-White: So we're picking up our pens and our microphones

"What are microphones?" James asks. 
"See what the actresses are holding?" Maria asks, pointing to the screen. "They're microphones. They're used to amplify voices."
"You have some bizarre technology." 

All: History's about to get overthrown

"Oh, that's cool!" Jane cries. "Thrown, throne, get it?" 
"Yeah, we get it," Anne sighs. 

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Devoured
Smith-White: Survived

All: But just for you tonight
We're Divorced, Beheaded, Live!

Welcome to the show
To the historemix
Switching up the flow
As we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that will be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Rani finally speaks up. "Is anyone worried about why the six wives of Henry VIII—"
"Henrat!" The Titanic officers yell. 
"We call him Henrat here," older Emma says. "It saves us confusion as we have a Henry among the group."
"Is he a Henrat too?"
"Thanks a lot," Henry groans. 
"No, Rani, he's not a Henrat."
"How do you know my name?" 
"Future stuff."
"Okay, you're weird. But is anyone worried about why the six wives are making a musical about themselves?"
"No," the queens and the Titanic officers chorus. 

Aragon: All you ever hear and read about
Boleyn: Is our ex and the way it ended
Seymour: But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush
Cleves: You're gonna find out how we got unfriended
Howard: Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice
'Cause we're taking you to Court
Smith-White: Every Tudor rose has its thorns
And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Devoured
Smith-White: Survived

"And it's back to the rhyme again," Maria groans. "Queens, why do you use that rhyme?" 
"It's effective," Anna says, "but Ex-Wives is the only song that uses it— I hope. Six is the only other song we wrote, so we can't say anything about the other songs." 

All: But just for you tonight
We're divorced, devoured, Live!

Welcome to the show
To the historemix
Switching up the flow
As we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Dancing through the night
'Til the break of day
Once we're done, we'll start again
Like it's the renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Aragon: Remember us from your GCSEs?

"What are GCSEs?" Will asks. 
"General Certificate of Secondary Education," Luke instantly says. "Everyone in England takes them when they're in year eleven."
"The twenty-first century is a strange place," Captain Smith says. Everyone looks at him. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Yes," the Titanic officers say. 

All but Aragon: Divorced
Aragon: My name's Catalina of Aragon
Was married twenty-four years
I'm a paragon of royalty
My loyalty is to the Vatican
So Henrat, if you try to dump me
I'll never give you another chance

Harold bursts out laughing. "So if Henrat dumps you, you won't give him another chance, but you would if it's someone else?"
"It depends on why we broke up," Catalina shrugs. 

All but Boleyn: Beheaded
Boleyn: I'm that Boleyn girl
And I'm up next, see
I broke England from the Church
Yeah, I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well, my sleeves may be green
But my lipstick's red

James shares a bemused look with Anne. "Don't ask," Anne says. 

All but Seymour: Died
Seymour: Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved
All but Seymour: Rude!

The queens start laughing. "I remember when you first did that," younger Emma says. "We weren't sure why you did that and thought you were insulting us!" 
"I didn't mean to insult anyone," Jane says. 
"We know, Jane," Catalina says. 

Seymour: When my son was newly born
I died
But I'm not what I seem
Or am I?
Stick around, and you'll
Suddenly see more

"Aw," Charles says, and he looks over at Jane. "That's so sad." 
"Thank goodness Emma can bring back the dead," Jane says. 
"What?" Rani asks. 
"Doesn't concern you!" 

All but Cleves: Divorced
Cleves: Ich bin Anna of Cleves
All but Cleves: Ya

Herbert is struggling to hold his laughter back. "I remember seeing this musical once." 
"Huh?" Clyde asks. "When was that?" 
"Back on the Titanic. I was kidnapped and forced to watch a musical. I'm sure it was Six, but her costume is different," Herbert points to the woman in blue, "and there were references to the Titanic throughout."

Cleves: When he saw my portrait
He was like
All but Cleves: Ya!
Cleves: But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little—

Howard: Prick up your ears
I'm the Katheryn who was eaten alive
All but Howard: Devoured
Howard: For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your daughters, lock up your wives
Kitty Howard is here, and the fun's begun

"Daughters and wives?" Joseph asks, looking at Kitty. 
"Er..." Kitty looks at the other queens and mouths, 'help.' 
"We'll explain later," Catalina promises. 

All but Smith-White: Survived
Smith-White: Five down, I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor, Em Smith-White
I bet you wanna know how I got this far
I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far

"Captain, you, Henry, and Will are quiet," Ruby says. 
"I am trying to enjoy it," Captain Smith says. Henry nods. 
"I like Emma's verse," Will says. 

All: Do you want to know how we got this far?
Then

Welcome to the show
To the historemix
Switching up the flow
As we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Get your hands up
Get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee?
Well, there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Older Emma glances at her younger self and the other queens, who have now got up and started dancing. Anne accidentally smacks Anna in the face, and Anna falls on top of her. 
"Queens, please behave yourselves," Sarah Jane says. 

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