Emma's Six- Six the Musical

No Way

A beat starts playing. 
Aragon: So, since the beginning, my faith was tested on more than one occasion. First, I was shipped over on my sweet sixteenth to marry some Prince Arthur, and I'm like, "okay". 

Catalina stares at the screen, her head tilted to one side. 

Aragon: But then Arthur dies, so I'm naturally imprisoned for seven years. Really helps with the grieving process, you know?

"Naturally," Anne sniggers. 
"Shut up, Anne, you weren't there," Catalina says, turning her attention away from the screen. 

Aragon: But thank God they saved me in time to marry Prince Henry... my dead husband's brother. 

"Hang on, what?" Captain Smith asks. 
"Arthur and Henry were brothers," Catalina says, "and King Henry VII didn't want to lose his alliance with Spain, and asked Henry to marry me when he died." 
"Right." 

Aragon: You know, bit weird, but if you saw him in the summer of '09, he was really... okay. 

The queens burst out laughing. "He might have looked okay in his younger days, but that ended after his accident," older Emma says. 
"Was that in 1536?" Younger Emma asks. 
"That's right." 

Aragon: Fast forward several years, and we're still trying for an heir, and he's trying really hard, and I'm like "well, okay". Then he starts coming home late. "Oh, I was just out with my ministers," but there's lipstick on his ruff! 

Catalina and Anne start laughing. Everyone knows that Anne hadn't wanted to see the King, but when he points at something or someone and says he wants that, you had no choice but to comply. At least, that's what it was like when he was King. 

Aragon: Suddenly, he wants to annul my marriage, move MY GIRLFRIEND into my palace and move me into a convent! Now, now, now, I just don't think I'd look good in a wimple. So, I'm like "No Way!" 

The music kick in, and the queens sit up and start paying more attention. The officers glance at each other and wonder what sort of thing they just got themselves into. 

Aragon: You must agree, Henry
In the twenty-four years I've been by your side
I've never lost control
No matter how many times I knew you lied

"Henrat always lies, that's a rule with him," Jane agrees.

Aragon: Have my golden rule
Gotta keep my cool
Yeah, Henry
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: You know she never said a word
Aragon: And even though you had your fun
Running around with some
All: Pretty young thing!
Aragon: And even though you had one son 
With someone who didn't own
All: a wedding ring

"How old was Bessie Blount?" Younger Emma asks. 
"I think she was in her late teens," Anne says. "I'm not sure as I wasn't there at the time."

Aragon: No matter what I heard
I didn't say a word
No, Henry
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: You know she never said a word

"True," Anne, Jane, and older Emma nod. 

Aragon: I put up with your
All: Sh!
Aragon: Like every single day
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: Whoa, whoa
Aragon: But now it's time for you to 
All: Sh!
Aragon: And listen when I say

You must think that I'm crazy
You want to replace me?
Henry, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!
If you think for a moment
I'll grant you annulment
Just hold up
There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!

"Did Henrat really ask for an annulment or did he demand it?" James asks. 
"He demanded it, and I said no," Catalina says. 

Aragon: No way
No way
There's
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way
Aragon: No way
No way
There's
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way! 
Aragon: There's no way

"This song is great," Harry says. "Will the rest of the songs be like this?" 
"I think each of the songs will be different as they reflect each of the queens," Anne explains, "but this song is awesome." 

Aragon: So you read a bible verse
that I'm cursed
'Cause I'm your brother's wife
You say it's a pity 
'cause quoting Leviticus 
I'll end up kiddyless all my life!

"Did Henrat really say that?" Jane asks. 
"Close enough," Anne replies. 

Aragon: Well, daddy weren't you there
When I gave birth to Mary?
Shoot, he doesn't remember! 
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: Daughters shouldn't be so easy to forget!

"I agree with that one," Will nods, "no one deserves to be forgotten by their parents." 

Aragon: You're just so full of
All: Sh! 
Aragon: Must think that I'm naive 
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: Whoa, whoa!
Aragon: I won't back down, won't
All: sh!
Aragon: And nope! I'll never leave!

"I wish that standing my ground in 1527 was as awesome as this song," Catalina groans, "it would have made things more interesting."

Aragon: You must think that I'm crazy
You want to replace me
Henry, there's 
All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way!
Aragon: If you think it'd be funny
To send me to a nunnery, honey
All: There's nnnnnnnnnno way!

"I like how that bit sounded like it was part of a choir," Anna says, "since you almost went to live in a nunnery." 
"I wonder how history would've changed if that happened," Catalina says. 
"It's not worth finding out," Emma replies. 

Aragon: No way
No way
There's
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!
Aragon: No way
No way
There's
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way! 
Aragon: There's no way! 
Let's go, girls! 

On-screen, the six wives start dancing, and the queens stare at them. "There's no way I can do that," Jane says. 
"I don't think any of us can," Anne says. 
The on-screen queens head up the stairs where the band is, and Catalina turns to face the audience and kneels. 

Aragon: You've got me down on my knees
Please tell me what you think I've done wrong
Been loyal, been humble, I've tried to swallow my pride all along
If you can give a single thing I've done to cause you pain
I'll go

"Did the speakers break? I can't hear anything," Charles says. 

Aragon: No?

"Oh, never mind." 

Aragon: You've got nothing to say
I'm staying with Anne, Jane, and Emma
There's no way!
You must think that I'm crazy
You want to replace me
Henry there's
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

"Whoo!" Anna yells as she jumps up and starts dancing. Anne also starts dancing. 

Aragon: You made me your wife
So I'll be queen 'til the end of my life! 
All: n-n-n-n-n-n-no way
No way
No way
Aragon: Nnnnnnnnnnnno Way!
Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Smith-White: No way!
No way!
All: there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!
Aragon: There's no way! 

Anne and Anna sit down at the end of the song. 
"It must be my song next," Anne says.