Emma's Six- Six the Musical

Introduction

Cleves: How are you doing tonight?

"Not great," Henry mumbles. 
"They can't hear you," Anne says, "it's probably a recording or something." 
"When do you think we become a girl band?" Jane asks. 
"No clue. I would've thought never considering the situation older Emma's in." 
'What situation?" Younger Emma asks. 
"Future stuff, Little Em." 
Younger Emma sticks her tongue out at Anne. 
"I don't remember this," older Emma says, "I remember Ex-Wives and Six, but none of the musical."
"What year is everyone from?" 
"1912," the officers except both Emmas say. 
"2007," all the modern people say, except for older Emma. 
"2010," older Emma says. 

Boleyn: We said, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

Everyone jumps from the cheers and screams coming out of the speakers. "People would think that twenty-first-century people have no respect for others," older Emma says. 
"Have they never heard anything about noise level?" Anne asks. She's grinning, though, so it can't be that bad. 

Seymour: We are
All: SIX
Seymour: And welcome to our Divorced Beheaded Live Tour!

"That harmony is amazing," Rani says. "How on Earth do they do that?" 
"It takes a bit of practice," Catalina shrugs and gets back to enjoying the show.

Howard: We've got a whole lot in store for you tonight
Aragon: We've got riffs to ruffle your ruffs (Aragon does a riff)

"Oh, you go, girl!" Anne grins. 

Smith-White: Shimmies to shake up your chemise
Seymour: And a whole lot of history
Smith-White: Or as we like to call it: Herstory
The queens onstage laugh

"What's wrong with history?" Rani asks.
"They did say they were changing the prefix in the song," Captain Smith considers, "maybe it has something to do with that." 

Aragon: Obviously, you know who we are—
Howard: Please, no portraits.
Aragon: But give it up for our amazing ladies-in-waiting!
Boleyn: We have Maggie on the guitar! 
Maggie does a short solo on the guitar
Cleves: Bessie on the bass
Bessie does a solo
Seymour: And killing it on the keys we have Joan!
Joan does a short solo
Aragon: And we have Maria on the drums. 
Maria does a short solo.

"I don't know how to play the drums!" Maria cries. 
"Bessie came back!" Catalina cries. 
"Yes, but when?" Anna asks. "And what happened to Rocky? Where is she?" 
"Rocky?" James asks. 
"Jane Boleyn. We started calling her Rocky because we already have Jane Seymour and Jane "Janie" Grey." 

Cleves: So, you came here to party with us "old school gals."
Seymour: Really, really old school. But we're not here to have fun. 
Howard: No, we have a serious score to settle. 
Aragon: We know each of you has a favourite queen and your reasons behind it. 
Smith-White: Seriously, we heard it all. 

"Have you?" Captain Smith asks. "There might be some arguments you haven't heard yet." 

All of the lights but one turn off, illuminating Aragon. 
Aragon: Who lasted the longest was the strongest.
The light changes to Boleyn.
Boleyn: The biggest sinner is obvs the winner.
Boleyn's light darkens, and Seymour's lights up. 
Seymour: Who had the son takes number one.
Cleves is now in focus.
Cleves: The most chaste shall be first place. 
Howard's light turns on. 
Howard: The most inglorious is victorious.
Smith-White's is the last one to turn on. 
Smith-White: The winning contestant was the most protest-ant 
There is a beat, and the other queens look at her. 
Smith-White: Hybrid. 

"Is you being a hybrid common knowledge now?" Herbert asks. 
"No, but I guess by whenever the musical first performs it is." 

Howard: Tonight, we're going to answer that question once and for all. 
Boleyn: So tell me what you want, what you really, really want... to know

The group from the twenty-first century burst out laughing, getting the reference. The Titanic officers look confused. 

Seymour: That's right, we're going to help show you who is
Cleves: The Queen of the Castle
Seymour: The rose amongst the thorns
Howard: The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540. 
Aragon: But how in purgatory are they going to decide?
Boleyn: Hold up; if this is going to be a fair competition, they need to judge us based on the one thing we have in common. 

"It's the ex," Henry says. The officers nod, and the queens groan. 
"We hate Henrat," Catalina says. "He's a prick." 
"Miss Aragon!" Captain Smith cries, aghast. 
"First, it's Mrs Lowe now since I married Harold in 1913. Second, I'm just telling the truth." 

Cleves: The queen to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest
Boleyn: the firmest
Aragon: the fullest

"This better not become inappropriate; there are kids here!" Captain Smith cries. 

Smith-White: Load of BS to deal with from our mutual ex, Henrat the eighth. 

"What does BS stand for?" Luke asks. 
"A rude word," Jane says. 

Howard: So, Wattpad, we will hold a little contest. 
Seymour: and the rules are simple:
Smith-White: The queen who was dealt the worst hand,
Boleyn: The queen with the most hardships to withstand, 
Cleves: The queen for who it didn't really go as planned
All: shall be the one to lead the band! 

"I do not know what to think about this," Henry says, "it might make for an interesting show, but I cannot see the queens arguing about it in real life." 
"We did during the first few months after Henrat died," Anne says. "You did not want to be there for that." 
"I ran away because things got too hectic," Ruby says, "I can confirm the queens' household was mad at them for arguing all the time."

Boleyn: So, Wattpad, are you ready to choose your leading lady?
The crowd starts cheering. 
Boleyn: I said, are you ready?
The crowd cheers louder.
All: Welcome to the show,
to the coronation
Who will take the crown
And be the pop sensation?
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
(six wives, six wives, six wives)
Aragon: But there's only one you need to hear from tonight! Wattpad, I'm about to win this competition. Maria, give me a beat! 

Everyone turns to Catalina, aghast.