schizo // heathers

eleven

Veronica

I woke up a while later, with a tube down my throat to pump my stomach. I spewed vomit into the container the nurse held for me as she rubbed my back. I knew I was fucked, that I'd done something unforgivable this time. Something my parents couldn't buy me out of.

I'd have to endure a 72 hour psychiatric hold for a suicide attempt. When someone came to speak to me and interview me, they were shocked at what I said about JD.

"I'd say I had a pretty fucking good reason to try and kill myself." I defended myself, not realizing this counted as a suicidal remark and that I'd be given a nurse to watch me one on one. Additionally, my arms and legs were strapped down to the bed for my own safety. If my nose itched, I had to ask permission to scratch it. If I had to pee, I had to ask permission for that. It was worse than dealing with my parents, but not as bad as dealing with JD.

When I was about to be discharged, three days after trying to kill myself, my parents came to pick me up. "Where are my daughters?" I asked them. I had been looking forward to seeing Emily and Chloe more than my parents.

"We left them with a sitter. It'll be easier this way." My mother informed me, a tight smile on her face.

"What will be easier?" I questioned, filled with anxiety.

"You're not going home, Veronica." My father told me. I gave him a confused look. I was still strapped down to the bed, unable to run away. "You're being admitted to a psychiatric hospital half an hour away." He added.

"You can't do this to me." I said, beginning to panic. "Please, I need to go home." I went on begging.

"You tried to kill yourself three days ago." My mother reminded me, as if I'd forgotten.

"But I'm okay now and I just need to go home to my kids." I cried. "You're not even letting me say goodbye!" I yelled at them.

"Emily was the one who found you." My father told me, his tone nasty with disappointment. My heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Please, I don't want to go to a hospital. I see my therapist and I'll take my meds, please just let me go home." I pleaded with them.

"You had the chance to do that, Veronica. Clearly, you're unwell from your time in captivity." My mother stated, judging me.

"I need to see my daughters." I cried but my parents said nothing more and left me there.

I was transported to the hospital within the next hour, of which I cried the entire time. I didn't interact with anybody so they kept me for three weeks instead of two. By the end of the first week, I'd started to talk to my therapist but I didn't talk to anyone else. They knew who I was and people asked too many questions I didn't want to answer. So I spent most of my time in my room, where I had no roommate.

When I was released, my parents didn't come to pick me up. I asked for a taxi and when I showed up at my house, they weren't home. I didn't have my keys so I had to wait in the backyard until they came home. Eventually, they did. I walked up to my parents.

"I got released today, you forgot to pick me up." I told my parents.

"We didn't forget, Chloe had a doctors appointment and Emily had something to do." My mother told me. "You managed to get home just fine." She added, still short with me.

"Well where is Emily?" I asked.

"Like I said, she had something to do." My mother shrugged as she moved past me to get Chloe out of her car seat. I held my hands out to take my baby from her but she walked right past me.