A Place We Once Knew

A Place Where I Feel Like Home

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To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel like home
And I built a home for you, for me
Until it disappeared from me, from you
And now it's time to leave and turn to dust
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed its knees
By the cracks of its skin, I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gust came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held on to me

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"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Elliot's fingertips grazed her bare back as she leaned her head against his strong shoulder. She closed her eyes as she released a breath, allowing herself to take in the moment. She couldn't stop smiling.

She was happy. For the past six weeks she was living the life that she always dreamed. She had the perfect job... the perfect apartment... and now the perfect man, who did everything in his power to make her feel like the most desired woman on the planet.

She glanced over at the table she had been sitting at earlier and noticed that Ross was gone. That was the first time she realized that she had completely interrupted their dance together. She felt bad about it, but surely he would understand. She felt more guilty about the dance itself. Thinking about it made her feel... homesick.

She shook her head and inhaled Elliot's scent, allowing her mind to travel back to the wonderful man who held her so perfectly.

He leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder and then whispered into her ear, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here? There's this place I've been dying to take you."

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"Alright, close your eyes. Don't open them until I say. I promise I won't let you fall. Just trust me" She smiled as she followed his instructions. "I trust you." He squeezed her hand as they navigated their destination together. They had taken a cab ride to the outskirts of the city and had been walking for nearly ten minutes now. "We're almost there."

She trusted him. But she didn't trust her feet being able to walk in these heels much longer. She could feel the cool evening air blowing through her hair, letting her know they were somewhere out in the open.

"Okay, we're here, but don't open your eyes yet." he whispered. Suddenly, she felt his lips graze hers. She kept her eyes closed, allowing the rest of her senses to kick into overdrive. She reached for him, finding a part of his suit in her grip, as she pulled him towards her and his hands instinctively found themselves around her waist. She placed her hands on his neck as she kissed him again, this time, deeper and more needy, allowing their tongues to dance together.

She finally pulled away to catch her breath. "Hey, if that was the surprise, did we really have to come all the way out here for that?"

He laughed. "You can open your eyes now."

She blinked her eyes as the most breath-taking view she had ever seen opened up before her. They stood atop a tall hill, overlooking the water, with the Manhattan skyline on the far side of them, lighting up the night sky.

"Oh my God, this is beautiful. I have lived here for years and I don't think I've ever seen the city like this before."

He had a huge grin on his face, clearly very proud that she loved it. "This is my favorite view of the city. I like to come here on runs - sometimes just to sit and think. It has always astounded me how it's so quiet and peaceful here, yet we're so close to the loud and hectic city we could almost reach out and touch it. I think sometimes we need these moments in our lives to help keep perspective."

She was taken aback by how deep and thoughtful Elliot was. "It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful" he answered, matter of factly, with a slight grin emerging from the corner of his lips. She was floored by how he could be both her safe place and her biggest adventure.

"Rachel.. These past six weeks have been better than I could have ever imagined. I never dreamed a woman like you even existed, but then all of a sudden you came crashing into my life and I haven't looked back since. When I met you, I was in such a bad place, but you showed me that there is so much more to this life than merely surviving it. I just... " his voice trailed off as his eyes peered into hers.

"I love you."

Her heart pounded out of her chest. She was in the most perfect setting with the perfect man who was saying the most perfect words to her. It was everything she ever wanted. And it was all accompanied by a feeling in her gut that was growing increasingly unavoidable.

She was doing fine until he said those three words.

I love you. She should be over the moon. She should be saying it back. She should be jumping into his arms and never letting go. But her gut wouldn't let her. She could only think about one thing.

Ross.

She felt guilty, like she was cheating on him or something. He had consumed her thoughts for years, somehow becoming all that she knew. Sure, she had been with other guys, but they never worked out because deep down, something always told her they'd find their way back to each other. But now, here she was, with the man of her dreams, and she had the opportunity to have it all. She hated herself for feeling this way. She wasn't cheating on Ross - she wasn't his - she hadn't been with him for over a year now. And the biggest factor in all of this of course - He. Chose. Someone. Else.

She had the perfect guy, and the perfect chance to move on. Why after all of this was he still invading her thoughts? Her head and her heart were fighting a war inside of her. Meanwhile this perfect man was standing in front of her, holding her hands, vulnerabilities exposed, waiting for a response.

It was in that moment that she realized this might be the greatest feeling that would ever exist between them. A tear began to roll down her cheek.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry", She cleared her throat as she looked up to him and smiled.

She looked into his dark eyes, seeing the promise of a man who would always protect her, who would never doubt her, who would give her the entire world without her even asking. This could very well be the one that changes everything. Maybe 'the one' does exist after all. The one that changes you, forever. The one that breaks you in an unfixable way, that makes you question everything. The one that teaches you that what you once thought of love, is not even close to the love you actually deserve. She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

"I love you too."