I remember those times when I cry myself to sleep because I believe no one would treat me the way I want to be treated. I overthink a lot. I keep telling myself that I am the least favorite friend, or that I have never even been regarded as one. I'm just there, wanting to be accepted in a society where expectations for people like me are hard to meet. I'm just there who has unreasonably expected people to accept me into the circle to which I've aspired since I was little. I'm just there who craves attention because I want company and I want someone who can see me from the inside out. But then I realized that being someone's favorite person means nothing if you don't regard yourself as your greatest company. I'm ashamed of my old self because he was always looking for attention from everyone at all times. I'm ashamed of my old self because he was always expecting someone to notice him and figure out who he was. I am ashamed of my old self because he constantly looking for someone who would treat him as his favorite person and would not abandon him when he was at his lowest.
But in reality, at the time, I wasn't focused on myself. I pity him since I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying and to what he was feeling. Looking at my current self, on the other hand, makes my previous self incredibly proud of me. I think he's already forgiven me. I have done an excellent job of building a person who relies his happiness on himself instead of others. He builds a person who put himself first above all others. He builds a person who doesn't chase but instead prefers to be chased. He builds a person who doesn't cry anymore over little things. He builds a person who is strong enough to face any setbacks. Yes, He is me. I build him. He builds me.
