An Unforeseen Love

Good things ahead

Since telling Kyle everything that happened between John and I things have been better. It's not like things have been bad between us but I think he understands now what I go through everyday. I still flinch when Kyle reaches for me or moves too quickly around me but I am learning to trust again. Kyle knows that it's nothing against him. I feel myself falling more and more in love with him. There is something that I don't understand though....I know that I am falling in love with Kyle. But why am I so afraid of telling him this? 

I told Kyle that I would appreciate it if he didn't tell anyone else about what I told him. I told him that I didn't want anyone to know what happened. There aren't many people that I can trust. In just a short few weeks Kyle has been able to make me trust him. I really can't explain that. But there is just something about this man that is different. 

The next day Kyle and I plan on hanging out after work. I stayed at his house we both are working the same shift today. Being with him I'm not worried about doing my make-up or making sure my hair looks just right. I finally feel like I am safe to be who I am without worrying about it not being good enough. I still find myself feeling like I should be doing my hair or make-up when I am around him. But he is always reminding me that he likes me for who I am. 

When I wake up I roll over and I see that Kyle is laying there staring at me. What the hell is this man looking at? I am literally just waking up and he is looking at me like he just seen the most breath taking beautiful thing in the entire world. Why? I really don't understand why he is staring at me like this. 

"What are you looking at?" I am beyond confused. I really don't understand it. I am just laying here in pajamas and just waking up. I really don't get what he is looking at.  

He is just staring at me and smiling. "I am just looking at you."

"But why? How long have you been watching me sleep?"

"Not long. I just woke up a little while ago and you looked peaceful. You looked so relaxed and I didn't want to wake you up. There's plenty of time for you to sleep if you want. We don't have to be at work yet." 

"I don't get why. You are such a weirdo."

"Yeah a weirdo that gets to tell you how beautiful you are. I am your weirdo. I love saying that but it's the truth."

"Okay well that maybe true but you are still a weirdo."

I still can't believe that in just a short few weeks I went from having no will or want to keep fighting to where I am now. Now I have this great guy here with me that loves being with me and just watches me sleep. Usually when we stay at Kyle's place I fall asleep to him playing video games. I don't mind him falling asleep because I know what it means to him to play those games. I really enjoy watching him play his games. 

"Do you want to hang out tonight again? Maybe stay the night with me?" Kyle asked me and I want to tell him yes but there's something's that I need to do at my house. 

"I would love to but I need to get a few things done at my house. So, yeah we can hangout but I don't know about the whole staying the night thing. I can ask my mom how she feels about you coming over for dinner if you would like."

"Sure, that sounds good."

We get up and start getting ready for work. I tell him that we have time before we have to head to work and ask if he would like to go to breakfast. 

"You think that I am going to say no to food. Let alone say no to being able to take my girl out and show her off." 

He is always wanting to show me off. I don't get it. I mean a man like him wanting to be with someone like me. Let alone wanting to show me off. I find myself all the time wanting to tell him that I love him. But every time that I go to tell him I end up talking myself out of telling him.