An Unforeseen Love

The Start of a good thing

When Kyle arrived at my dad's place I was extremely nervous. Not just because I just told this guy that I like him but also because this is the first real time that we are hanging out with one another outside of work. Usually we just text or he will call me and one or both of us will end up falling asleep on the phone together. I don't know what it is about this guy but talking to him makes me feel better. He makes me feel safe and that is something that I honestly did not think that I would find in a guy ever again. After John I told myself that I was done looking for someone to be with. The only person I am ever going to be able to trust is myself. At least that is what I keep telling myself in hopes that it would make me not have feelings for this man. But surprise, surprise that didn't work out. 

After Kyle is there for a while I am starting to not feel as nervous. But then my dad had to go and make all those nervous come back full force. He asked me if I could step outside so that him and Kyle could talk in person. Honestly, what the hell could my dad want to talk to him about. They literally just meet each other two hours ago. But I figured that I would use that as an excuse to have a cigarette anyway.  So, I go outside and I am trying my hardest to hear what they are saying but I can't. When Kyle got there we went outside (all three of us smoked) and we were smoking. I didn't think that on November 5th, 2014 I was going to be in a new relationship when my other one of 8 months just ended. But while we were having a cigarette Kyle asked me to be his girlfriend. I couldn't help but smile. For the first time in forever I was truly happy. 

Things were going great with me being with Kyle. He had meet my mom, dad, and grandma. He had seen my sister and her boyfriend as well at Wal-Mart but it wasn't anything official since we were working. Today I am at home while Kyle is working. We were talking about him coming over and meeting the rest of the family officially here soon. I can honestly say that within a few days of us actually being together I felt myself starting to fall for him. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't but I couldn't fight what I was feeling. I defiantly am not telling kyle any of this until we have been together longer. Plus, I am going to wait to say anything until he says it first. 

As I am sitting on the couch watching TV with my mom and grandma my phone starts going off. At first I thought that it was Kyle. Which one of the texts was from him. And that had me smiling and feeling good. Until I seen who the next text was from. It was John. 

'Really what the hell does this son of a bitch want now?" I thought to myself and remembered everything that I was trying so hard to keep from thinking about. I almost consider just ignoring him until my mom spoke up.

"You must of gotten a text that you didn't want to get. A few seconds ago you are smiling and now you look just like you did the first night that you moved back in. Whats going on sis?" 

Hearing my mom say that brought all those memories flooding back to the surface. Shit. What am I going to do now? I need to talk to him anyway. I don't want to keep having to buy clothes because everything I own is at John's house. 

"Hey, i know that we haven't talked since we broke up and that is kind of why I am reaching out to you. I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for everything that happened." 

As I am reading this message I feel all the stinging coming back. I think to myself that you aren't sorry for everything that happened. You are just sorry your friends got to see a side of you that you hide oh so well from everyone else...

"Look John. I don't want to hear your empty apologies. Honestly to me, your apologizes are nothing more than a pile of dog shit on your favorite pair of shoes. Unless you have something to say about the things that I own and left at your house then I will talk. But if it just so that you can give me a empty half hearted apologies."