Gold Rush

Beautiful Darkness

It was pitch black when Sophie eventually arrived back at St George's Park, she thanked the driver as she climbed out of the car and decided to sit herself on one of the benches before going inside.

Looking up, she squinted slightly to admire the stars.. a blanket of beautiful darkness sweeping across the Staffordshire sky. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to be immersed in the silence of the night. There was just something about being outdoors and quiet, it usually soothed her talkative brain. However tonight was different, it lasted for approximately 0.25 seconds before she started thinking about him, and that she knew by going back into her room, she'd be immediately surrounded by Jack.
His smell, his clothes, his underwear. She'd probably find an AirPod or headband in the bed or something. The ghost of him would be following her everywhere.

She could hardly blame Jack for enjoying somebody new, a firmer body to hold, a warmer mouth to fill. She was a mess.. and she wasn't his mess to clean up. She never was.

Of course, she was well aware she would have to speak to him at some point, or maybe she won't, maybe he will avoid her now and just make it easy for her by taking the decision out of her hands. Game over. Those niggles and doubts crept up on her again, and this was why it would never have worked.

Nobody spoke to her body like he did.. and she heavily doubted they ever would again. The past few months.. they had been like a dream. A beautiful scramble of memories to fondly look back on in years to come.
Something to look back at in the nursing home.
Jack's words echoed around her mind and she smiled at the memory of that afternoon.. having to practically drag him up the inclines of the hills on their walk, how he whinged and wined all the way up, the way he said 'in-cloyn', when he'd congratulated himself by getting the picnic out and tucking in as soon as they set foot at the top.

She took her phone out and looked at the pictures from that day, it made her heart swell and her eyes began to fill with tears.
She loved this man. But he didn't love her.

****************

Jack found his space near the back of the team coach as they prepared to set off back to SGP. Cap on, hood up and headphones in. He made it more than obvious that he could not be arsed with the small talk or player banter, but that didn't stop Phil Foden coming over cracking jokes. He very quickly realised that Jack needed space and scuttled off to wind someone else up, Probably Raheem or Walks, he thought.

He trailed through playlist after playlist saved to his Spotify account, unable to pin point his mood. He opened 'Recently Played' and his thumb hovered over Maximo Park - Books from Boxes. He'd saved it after that night in Sophie's apartment, the squiffy night with the questionable wine. He was about to press play when 2 WhatsApp notifications popped up..

Jen - 'I watched the game today... x'

Jen - 'I'm here if you wanna talk x'

Jack briefly thought about phoning Jen. She knew him well, better than most people and he knew that by confiding in her it wouldn't go any further. No matter how much had gone on between them, the cheating, the lies, the hurt, they still had a kind of respect for each other due to them meeting at a young age and growing up together.

But this would be pure selfishness on his part, knowing that she would come running to him at the drop of a hat if he asked, when really he just wanted someone to off-load these feelings onto. He wasn't that much of a knobhead to be blind sighted to how this would make Jen feel. Plus he was certain this wouldn't help his case if Sophie found out. Not that she was his anymore.

Another message flashed up.
All he wanted to do was listen to his music in peace, but when he realised who it was he felt warm and fuzzy, his parents were his rocks, his constant.