Exploring The Bond,Within (Completed)

1. LEFT & RETURNED

As she entered her masi's house which was probably the only place which she could say is her home, but she had left the pandya niwas now; the place which was truly a "Home" for her since her childhood, the place which was 'ghar' not just merely a 'makaan', a home of her dreams, the only admiration she had was to become bahu of Pandyas and handle the 'Pandya Niwas', just as she had seen her Dhara di, But now....was she still her Dhara di?

Or was it just her husband's bhabhi talking........but leaving Pandya Niwas felt like someone crushed her dreams under their rage and why did Shiva do this, he considered her as his enemy but he never disrespected or doubted her like that, and that too publicly he has not done that and not just to her but anyone,was that her Shiva or someone else she was not able to believe that he can speak words like this and that too for everything was running errands in her mind, her thoughts got entangled in a way, she felt herself fell down the cliff and make all this mess to end, she was exhausted not.

But then, masi started the series of questionnarie which she felt as if she had been pushed underneath the weight of all the questions. She wondered if anyone geniunely considered her as their own, each and everyone whom she considered as her own and beloved, was she also the same for them or was it a different story?

Though she refused on answering, she felt a part of her just giving a flashback of events of her with him, all of it she was missing him, she denied to talk to anyone but to herself? What justification she was to give her ownself? He made her like he was, he made her question herself as if she went to Jharokha, she saw the moon she remembered how she would admire the moon pre-wedding just like the bollywood films in a dramatic way and would smile looking upto the beautiful full moon.

She let out a dry chuckle out of irony, though she didn't say a word but her eyes, her eyes were having a deep driven conversation with the moon, as if her heart was asking the moon answers of some questions even she wasn't aware of. He made her question herself, all her life she has not been able to understand her Shiva, probably the only person who claimed to hate her but was the same person who had stood up to save her everytime she was in danger.

Shiva really made her question on her understandability, her generousness and 'the slap'. Probably she was more guilty of hitting him because this was not her, she would never hit anyone but she hit him, was this her or someone else, she didn't knew.

As she glanced at the jharokha of Pandya niwas, she saw him entering, probably he was in the same restless dilemma she was going through, she thought she didn't say a word but her eyes started to express, the tears won't stop. They started flowing as she made a blurred eye contact with him, she was able to feel his moist eyes, he was having a havoc going inside him, she could read his face but as she did not wanted him to see herself she turned; but her legs denied to move ahead.

Raavi:"Agar samajh jao to ek pal kaafi hai, varna puri zindagi nikal jaati hai...aur mai tujhe kabhi samaj hi nahi paayi Shiva...kyu?"

Shiva really made her question her own self, her heart knew how important he has become but it was still away from the roads of realisations. She was tumbling herself, trying to sleep but everytime she shut her eyes and tried to force sleep the memories with him just bareged in, was she missing him? she did not know but then if not, why was she getting so restless to feel his warmth she did not know.

It was true that she had accepted him whole heartedly, her heart did know that she has fallen for him, even she likes him but now, her mind was cautious enough not to express till the confirmity and surety she would get, she had killed a Raavi then, and she didnot wanted to kill this Raavi, the Raavi who felt protected around him and he was hers, her Shiva but on which roads they've come which they are not able to cross? she questioned herself.