Exploring The Bond,Within (Completed)

7. One step closer,one step further or farther

As the nurse came in and he left, she could feel her heart beat faster, the proximity between them had always affected her...her cheeks were pink but above all, she wanted to laugh on how he rushed to the door and his face, all red with the shyness. As the nurse left, he came again and he again sat on the chair beside the bed on which she was sitting with support...there spread a layer of awkward silence, neither of them spoke, nor did they gazed, only in glances did their eyes met; then she was hungry now and so she as if initiating the conversation said, "Shivaa...tere paas chocolate hai?"

"Nahi...mere paas kese hogi?"

"Itna bada store hai huma...tera aur ek chocolate nahi hai...mere liye leke aa ja"(with a cute little pout)

Shiva felt hurt when she instead of saying humara, cut her word in between and said tera...did they get so distanced from each other now...he thought to himself and as he was thinking this, she again said,

"Shiva tujhe bol rahi hu"
"Haan...haan toh voh store hai to kya mai puri dukan leke ghumu jeb mein...haan tu to mujhe vese bhi chalti firti kirane ki dukan bulaati haina..."

"Voh..voh mera yeh matlab nahi tha...sorry, rehne de maine to bas ese hi boldiya tha"(when she spoke this, her voice sounded choked, as if she was holding back tears and a cry but as tear filled her eye she looked away and looked upwards so that he won't know that it hurt her, but he did noticed this...but what could he do, he felt sorry so he got up from the chair and took his wallet from the desk and started leaving but she immediately held his hand and said,

"Maine bola na sorry, ab kya is halat mein yahan bhi akela chodkar jaayega mujhe?..."

Shiva gulped as he separated her hand and closed his eyes, then opened it again and before he could say anything, she repeated, "Mat ja"...and her eyes teary, voice choked...he replied, "Niche ja raha hu dawai lene...5min mein aajaunga".

As he came out of the door, he started thinking about her behavior and the guilt she felt, though it wasn't really her fault, but the main question which arose was 'why' did she behave like this, was her feelings same like him or was it because she did not wanted him to feel guilty as she had saved him or was it because she was in accident trauma...though for once his heart did  tell him that she might had feelings for him, he did not pay attention to it. And the way she told him to stay and not to leave, of course he did know about how her parents left her as a kid, then his own brother did at the altar and he himself also did that, but why she particularly wanted him to stay and not  leave, did she actually wanted only him to stay or was it because she had no other option...but right now he thought in his mind, he cannot leave her while his heart simply added, you won't want to leave her then too.

On the other hand, the moment he left, was the moment when tears started filling her eyes..she thought, why did he still thought about that words she had never meant for him and how much did she needed to apologize him for that, also she had this fear of people leaving her because everyone did that to her since childhood, and did she just begged him to stay or just asked or she really wanted him to stay, she had been blank, thinking about how hurt he was from inside and she after all, cannot compulsorily tell him to stay with her, especially if he did not wanted too..she waited and as she saw him coming in, she hurriedly wiped her tears and acted as she was okay, but her nose was red and he did noticed that...before he could come near the bed, she said with firm expressions but her voice somehow fumbled, "Tujhe...tujhe agar...(sighs)..tujhe bhi agar jaana hai to thik hai, nahi rokungi...akhir mai kon hoti hu tujhe...rokne vali..."
As if a reflwx he said, "Tu meri..."(but cut himself from saying "patni hai" and instead added)"teri dawai ka nasha chadh gaya hai ya bhukh sar pe chadh gai?"

He gave her a large chocolate but her one hand was pinned with glucose bottle and injection and she was not able to open it with the other hand, she still tried but he snatched it away and unwrapped it half and gave her, a smile flashed as she took a bite, as she looked him, he was gazing her eat chocolate, and to her it seemed to be cute, she asked, "ghur kya raha hai khayega kya?" and instantly the memory from haveli stroke her when she was eating mango with red chilli powder, but she was awaken from her memories when he replied, "Han..haan nai mujhe nai pasand aur mai to yeh soch raha hu tu kitni dogli hai...us din bol rahi thi meetha nahi pasand aaj dinosaur ki tarah thuse ja rahi hai"...a memory stroke him too when they were coming to somnath from the haveli and they had stopped for brunch; he saw her hand with chocolate which came near his mouth and with a smile she offered him a bite, and he cannot even dare to refuse because his heart would drown of not eating that bite, so he just opened his mouth a little and ate from it. As her chocolate finished she looked like a kid, her hand full covered in chocolate and the area near her lips even had chocolate on it, to which he said, "Bachhe bhi tere se achhe hote hai aur yeh kya hai khane se zyada to haath aur muh ko sajaya hai" she chuckled a little while he got up to throw the chocolate and came with water, tissues and a napkin, he gently cleaned it all, and her hair strands which were disturbing he gently tucked them behind her ears..then unknowingly his fingers went near her lips, and as his thumb went on it to clean the chocolate, both of their bodies shivered, they shared an eye contact and he rushed towards the dustbin to put tissues in, he helped her drink water and take medicines, as he was about to turn she held his hand, which made him  turn back, she said, "Shiva, thank you" with a smile, he just nodded it with even a little smile but she was still holding his hand so he just sat on the chair...after some time, she said, 'shiva teri aankhein to dekh sach mein bhoothnath bangaya hai..ek kaam kar tu bhi soja na, agar kuch chahiye hoga toh mai uthaungi", but instead of replying his eyes went near to the hand she was still holding, which made her realize to that she was unknowingly holding his hand for a while now, but it did make her feel comfort; but she immediately loosened the grip indicating him as of he can go and sleep...

He laid down on the bed in front and his eyes stuck on her to check if she needed something or if she was sleeping properly, while that memory still lingered his head about how she had ran away with him without knowing the matter and had supported him without questioning him when he was accused falsely for black marketing of cumin seeds; with that the memories from reception came too, where he had realized that he liked her, he still does, and he cannot even deny it, the question he got was why did she never doubted him or never even asked about the matter, did she actually trusted him so much and then what did he do to her trust, accused her in return, she felt disgusted and even guilty because today all what she was going through was because of him and only him.

They slept and yet like before a nightmare woke him up making him pant with heavy breathe and as he sat, he saw...

#Sorry for updating late. Hope you all enjoy reading it.