My Moon Prince ✔️

-AFTER THREE YEARS?-

"Yes of course! In the cafe as always at two?" I was already looking for my clothes when I stopped and stared in the mirror.

"No, I'll be right with you. I won't be staying long."

What did that mean now? As soon as he said it, the doorbell rang and I ran downstairs. Natalie was first to the door and I heard her greet my friend. "Hey Thomas, come in." But he declined and just said that he needed to speak to me for a moment. I was still standing at the top of the stairs and straightened my hair and my mascara under my eyes, which had been smeared from crying earlier "Cinderella!", Natalie called me and goosebumps ran through my body. I hated being uncertain. 'Cause I knew it would take a word to make me float higher or slam to the ground.

"I'm already here, hello Darling-", I wanted to kiss him like always but he kept me at a distance. "What- what's the matter? Did something happened?", I looked up at my boyfriend completely unsure and he turned only his face gone. "Yes, I realized something.." he began and I just stood there naively, seriously hoping that he would say something else that would resolve this tension.

"What? What did you realize? Come in for a moment..", I made room for him and he hesitated a little longer before he entered and followed me to my room.

"Cin, I've realized that we're- that we're not compatible."

My heart dropped so low I didn't know how to react. This caused me to laugh hysterically and keep my distance. "I'm sorry Cin, I'm breaking up with you." He repeated and turned to walk. I didn't understand the world anymore. After three years? Just like that and without explanation? The only thing was that he had realized something?

"Three years Thomas? We wanted to move in together. We were on vacation together, experienced so much and you.. just breaking up?", I couldn't even cry. I couldn't feel anything right now except emptiness, disappointment and uncertainty. "What happened? Is it me? Is it because of me? Have I done something wrong? I will change, Thomas! Please don't leave me! Please don't leave me alone!", then it all came at once. The panic, the fear, the insecurity, the sadness. "Thomas!" I yelled at him when he didn't say anything and just stood there. There was remorse in his eyes and I could see how he held back his tears. He didn't mean it at all.. "Please talk to me, Thomas.", I sought my reason and walked towards him. Even if he backed away, I was able to hold him and take his face in my hands. "You don't want it at all. Please don't lie to me, I know you." I whispered weakly, tears in my mouth. They tasted so salty..

"I can't, Cinda. Please let it go. It's over. I- I don't love you anymore.",  ouch- the sentence finally broke everything in me. I let go of him and took a step back.

Completely perplexed, I just nodded and turned to my bed. I couldn't look at him. With my poor wrapped around my body I stared into space and only heard Thomas walk away He left Just like that after three years The door slammed and I listened to his footsteps on the wooden stairs I heard Natalie say something and then The front door also slammed. He was gone. Forever.

With a thud, I fell to my knees and cried the pain out of my soul. All interest left me and I saw the world, which was otherwise always so colorful, only in black and white. My heart ached and I felt it keep breaking into a thousand pieces. I lost my father, my boyfriend and lived under one roof with three beasts. Only Emily was there. You could always count on my best friend. We've only known each other for two years, but this friendship has certainly lasted forever. 

Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that..

Eventually I made it onto my bed and curled up in my blanket. My eyes kept falling on the broken vase on my table and the tears eventually stopped running. I couldn't lie here forever. But I didn't have the strength to do anything else.. I could really use my father's kind words right now and the jokes he made when I was down. There was always something he could think of when it came to making me laugh. But he was no longer there and lay in the cemetery.I could certainly visit him there. He also always found strength to see me.So I slowly got up and put on some loose jeans, a hoodie and a pair of comfortable sneakers. Otherwise it would be something colorful like a light blue summer dress and Converse but at the moment I didn't care.

"I'm going out," I said briefly to Natalie, who was sitting downstairs on the couch reading a book. She skillfully ignored me and kept scrolling in her book. With a soft sigh, I walked out of the house and put my hands in my pockets.

My legs carried me towards the graveyard at the big church where most of the goths met.

I always found her style very unique but also very cool. However, addressing it was outside my mute line. The sun was particularly strong today and I warmed up quickly in this hoodie but in a shirt with the wind today it wasn't a good idea to run around either. So I kept it on and briefly closed my eyes to turn my face in the direction of the sun. It felt good to be outside when the weather was good. Father loved the sun and good weather. We often went for a walk in the park that was right next to the old cemetery. He used to joke about how soon he'd be moldy in that graveyard too, and I'd always hit him for it. He was so right about that, because the funeral took place barely a year later.

I stopped briefly at the big gate and looked at the map. I looked for where Papa was lying and remembered the number 1657. There he was, waiting for me.