A Heart of Truth (Book 2 in the Heart of Series)

13

I inhaled...exhaled...

Inhale...Exhale...

I had been following this pattern of breathing for a while. Not sure if I was able to remain calm. I was sitting here, beside the others in panic.

Staring straight ahead, my face most likely not showing any type of emotion. Yaku's hand resting on my back, trying to show some kind of comfort that I didn't need right now.

Who was it? Who hurt him? Who broke him? I asked these questions around 10 times each but no one bothered to say anything.

Betrayal...
I slowly glanced down at my right leg. Watching it go hay wire as it bounced to whatever fast beat that was in my head.

"Kuroo..."

"Kuroo, you okay?" Yamamoto whispered, looking at me with concern in my eyes. I turned to him and looked around, everyone was watching me, concern lacing each eye in the room.

"Sorry, what?" I frowned, looking between him  and my mom, who kindly decided to come with me.

"Nothing, you were just quiet. Here." Yamamoto softly smiled, handing me a soft tissue. I frowned but realized why he gave it to me when I touched my suddenly wet cheek.

I was crying. I was crying because I wanted to see Kenma. I was crying because I wasn't there to help him, to save him. I was crying because I knew that if I was here, this wouldn't have happened, not like this.

The doors opened, revealing Kaede and his mother, who my mother visually cringed at. Kaede immediately came up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's okay, just really scared." He whispered, his voice cracking. He was also crying and here I thought that Kenma hated him still.

"Can we see him?" Yaku asked for me, since I didn't say anything. Thank you..

"Uhm, is it okay if only Yamamoto go in first, He had went through a panic when I told him that Kuroo was here." He mumbled.

I frowned, feeling confused as to why he wouldn't want to see me.

Was it because he was blaming me? Probably...I know Kenma...
If not himself, he would be blaming everyone around him. And that's fine..I love Kenma..

"Yama, go ahead." I smiled, mindlessly biting at my gums. He frowned but nodded, as Kaede lead him down the hall.

Kenma's POV

I bit my lip, hugging my knees close to my chest as my nails dig into my skin. The door slowly opened, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut and bury my head into my knees.

"Kenma, it's just me.." I heard Yamamoto whisper. I slowly looked up at him, letting out a soft breath as Kaede sat down on one of the chairs.

I immediately started to cry, as Yamamoto stood beside the bed. He had been staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

I put my arms out, making him smile sadly at me. He pulled me into a hug, giving me time to get used to the soft gesture.

I hadn't let anyone touch me before this, not even Kaede but I somehow felt safe in Yamamoto's grasp.

I cried harshly into his arms, as he gently shushed me. "I-I couldn't..." I gave up on trying to speak, I couldn't even muster up the words.

"Shh, it's okay...No one is blaming you, okay? It's not your fault." He whispered. I shook my head, somehow not believing a word that he had said.

"I-I...I cheated...I should've stopped him I-"

"Kozume...Listen to me..Okay? Kuroo doesn't blame you, I don't blame you, your family doesn't blame you, this isn't your fault, you couldn't have stopped him, okay? You're not to blame here. It's that-"

"No!" I shouted, covering my ears quickly. Yamamoto froze, looking at me with worry. "Don't...say his name....p-please.." I whispered.

I felt bad..I could tell that Yamamoto wanted to reassure me, I could tell that he was worried about me.

But, for some reason...I couldn't think about anything else other than what happened. It wouldn't leave my mind, I couldn't get rid of the nasty feeling of his hands touching me.

"I have to shower....I can't...please...I need to..."I started to panic. Yamamoto gasped lightly as Kaede sat up in his chair.

"Okay...okay..I'm...hold on Kenma...hold on.." Yamamoto whispered, quickly leaving the room, leaving me to panic alone.

I shook my head as my breathing quickened. Tear fell down my face as a doctor quickly ran in.

"Hey, hey..it's okay...calm down.." He whispered, he put his hand on my shoulder causing me to yell out in fear.

"NO! LET ME GO! PLEASE! I-IM SORRY!" I cried, attempting to get him off of me.

Someone ran into the room and pushed the doctor away, as I quickly got as close to the wall as I could.

"Stop it....Please...stop..."I whispered, shaking my head wildly.

"Kenma. Kenma, it's okay..I'm here now..it's okay. Kenma..?" Kuroo's voice suddenly filled my ears, making me freeze up.

My breathing slowed down, but my shaking got faster. I hesitated before slowly looking up at him.

Our eyes connected, holding each other's glances, like old times. "K-Kuro..." I whispered, slowly letting my fingers hide the markings that they made.

"Hey...yeah...it's me.." He smiled softly. I covered my mouth and put my head down on my knees, letting the tears fall out of my eyes.

I sobbed loudly, scratching at my arms. He couldn't see me like this, not when I betrayed him...

"Hey, Kenma...It's okay, I'm not mad, okay? I love you so much..." He whispered.

He still loves me...even when I upset him so many times..

Even from before, I cause him so much stress...

Yet, he still loves me...

I bit my lip as I slowly looked up at him. He had his hand out, patiently waiting for me to take it.

I stared at his hand, it made no movements, it just waited on me. I frowned, squeezing my eyes shut, as I whispered at the fact of his suspected disappointment in me.

I couldn't take his hand....I'm such a disappointment...this was bound to happen to me anyway...

I deserve it...