Legless, But Alive | TWDG Season 5 Fanfic

Burying More then Bodies

By the time they returned home, it was almost dark. Omar, Louis, and Aasim had taken their seats at the table, bowls half, or entirely, empty. The same old stew sat in the same old pot at the edge of the courtyard. "Finally, it's getting cold!" Omar exclaimed. Louis just smiled and waved him off. Aasim rose to meet Ruby. "Well, how'd it go?" She smiled, gesturing to the stack of damp sheets. "Pretty well, but we need to hang these before they get all smelly." He nodded. "Louis and I did our best to set up clothing lines." Tied from the lamp posts that have long gone unused to the top of the stone walls, lines of thick string went strategically this way and that. Ruby smiled. "Will you help me hang them?" He nodded. Louis joined them silently and they went on with their work. Clem, AJ, Violet, and Willy took their seats as Omar retrieved new bowls for them. Clem thanks him when receiving her portion, along with AJ. Violet ran a finger along the cracking edges. "One of these days, we should head out and find some dead asshole's house and steal his dishes." Willy replied promptly with a burp. "Tastes the same either way."
It was true, they could start looking for luxuries here and there. Once the food situation was under control, there wouldn't really be much else to look for. When spring came around, maybe they could even try to grow some food in the greenhouse. It wasn't so far fetched, she had seen it done before. She hadn't realized how hungry she had gotten until the broth met her lips. She quickly ate as the others made smalltalk. Sometimes it felt too good to be true. The food, the bed, the people.. The living, breathing, people. It was scary how much she had grown to care for them. Clementine didn't know if she could handle it if they died. How many had she lost? Well, back when she was young.. A lot. Between the start and Lee's death, about 20? Not including everyone she had known beforehand. After that, the numbers skyrocketed. Christa and Omid, then Luke, Kenny, Jane, Rebecca: everyone in between. She had no idea what happened to Javi and his people.. but judging by the state of Richmond when she left it, the chances of anyone surviving felt slim. Clem was one of the last, their front line obliterated. She only hoped they managed to flee as well.
A few minutes passed as she zoned out eating, being brought back to reality only by Violet's voice. "Clem?" She put down her bowl, blinking. "Hm?" Violet cleared her throat. By now, everyone had returned to sit down with them - even if they had finished their food. AJ was whispering to Ruby, and she gave him a nod. "We were just talking and we're thinking we should try to interact with the people tomorrow.." Clem choked a bit in surprise, coughing, warranting a pat on the back from Vi besides her. "I think we're fine alone.." Said Aasim, who was stirring his, now cold, bowl of soup pensively. Louis sat silently beside him, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. "We could use the trade, especially with winter coming." Ruby paused. "That food won't last forever-" "Fuck the food, what about our lives?!" Omar replied angrily. The sudden burst startled AJ, making him flinch. Louis tried to break the tension a bit, scratching on to the chalkboard. 'Omar saying fuck food? Unheard of!' He offered a nervous grin. Omar reached out to slap down the board, but Aasim blocked his attack, shaking his head slightly at him. Clem knew she had to intervene. "We can't start fighting now. We've gotten this far." Louis nodded, gesturing towards her, then to Omar. "If it is really so much of an issue, then let's vote."
The last time the Erickson children held a vote was regarding the fate of Clementine and AJ. Would history repeat itself? Will the vote be as controversial as last time? Everyone watched her attentively as she spoke. "All in favor of making contact, raise your hands." Almost immediately, Violet raised her hand: soon followed by Aj, Willy, and Ruby. "Willy, what the hell?" Aasim said, looking over at him. Willy shrugged, looking away, yet refusing to lower his hand. "That's Vi, Aj, Ruby, and Willy, then." She looked to the group of three, sitting in a row across from her: Willy now moved to the edge of the bench in shame. "That's four to three." Louis sat there motionless, fear dancing behind his eyes. Aasim looked at Ruby and sighed. "Fine.. but first contact will NOT be here. We'll go to them." Ruby nodded and gave him a grateful grin. "Of course. That's only smart." She seemed to be glad that he wasn't making it more of an issue. Omar simply got up and left. Clementine nodded. "AJ, can you go get me the map and the crayons?" He nodded. "Okay." He ran off towards the dorm building. The map was in her room, pinned to the wall. They took it down whenever necessary. The crayons were in Tenn's old box. That box was AJ's now.. Most of his stuff had been Tenn's. Logically, hand me downs made sense in this setting, yet something about it felt wrong. Everyone was still mourning his death, after all. She tried not to think about it and turned back to the group. "So. We need at least two or three people going. Omar.. probably won't budge. Louis, I'm giving you a pass here." He nodded thankfully. "Violet, Aasim? You can bring Rosie as well." Aasim shrugged. "Whatever you want I guess.." Violet didn't seem to mind. "Yeah, that's fine. Been stuck with numbnuts for enough time that he's starting to grow on me!" He rolled his eyes, getting up. "I'm heading off to bed. I'll try to talk with Omar." Louis nodded and pointed to himself then held up two fingers, walking in the direction of the dorms. The group was thinning out for the night.
AJ popped back out of the building with one hand behind his back, his free hand holding his box of colors with the map tucked safely under his arm. "Clem I have a surprise!" He looked at Ruby who grinned at him in return. "Go ahead, AJ." He put down the box of colors and map awkwardly on the table before climbing up onto the old wood. Willy started drumming with his fists, cued by Ruby, building up to AJ's reveal. "Ta-da!" From behind his back, AJ pulled Clementine's hat: the dirt and grime significantly faded, if not gone entirely. She hadn't seen it this clean in years! It looks like Ruby even stitched the end of the 'D' that was falling off back in place. She smiled up at him. "Do you like it? I couldn't get the blood out, Ruby said it's too deep, but I did my best! Now you can wear it again!" She chuckled. "I love you, goofball!" She pulled him from the table in a swift motion into a hug. He smiled and hopped down onto the ground. Violet looked to AJ, then to Clem. "Uh, Clem.. you can totally say no, but.." She cleared her throat. "Maybe AJ should come with me and Aasim tomorrow.. He's good with Rosie, and he's a fantastic fuckin shot." His eyes widened. "Please, Clem?" She looked at the two. How could she say no to them? But.. What if something went wrong? Clementine swallowed hard, trying to put her mind at ease. "I.. well.." She shut her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Just.. be really careful." She looked him in the eyes with a serious expression, and he nodded. "I'll follow the rules." Violet smirked. "You're gonna have to protect Aasim, he's a real damsel." AJ giggled. "You're lucky he didn't hear that!" Willy replied. Ruby began collecting dishes. The sun had set over the horizon, and it was growing dark. Everyone migrated over to the campfire, Clem laying the map flat in her lap. "We should probably make copies of these, or scope out the area to expand it.." Violet nodded. "That'll be next on our bucket list. First off: caravan." She took a seat next to Clem, leaning forward as she stared at the map. "The raiders are a little past the hunting ground. North East." She used a purple crayon, now only but a stub of wax, to mark a spot.

"Very edge of the old safezone." Clem nodded. "It's good we're making the first move, any closer and they would've stumbled upon us." She nodded. "I feel like using the path would take too long. We don't know when they'll move next. Their camp is definitely temporary." "Seems so from what you've told me. I'd say go at mid day to try to talk with them. And Vi?" She gave her a puzzled look, concerned by her sudden serious tone, before Clem smiled. "If you don't wake me up tomorrow I'll make you kiss a walker." Violet laughed sincerely. Willy had left for bed during the conversation, apparently having lost interest. "Did someone move the weapons somewhere inside? Or at least hide them?" Vi nodded. "Don't worry, Lou put them in Tenn's old closet. I'll drag Aasim there in the morning." She nodded. "I'm gonna go find Alvin Junior and get him to bed." Vi smiled. "Okay. I think he went over to his 'monster trap.'" She chuckled and kissed Clem before getting up to leave. "Goodnight."
Clem balanced onto her crutches, looking up to Ruby who was done clearing the table and now standing watch. "Ruby, can you douse the fire?" She waved over her shoulder to Clem. "Sure thing, hon." Thanking her, she continued on her way to the swing. Turning the corner, she expected to see AJ flying this way and that in the tire. Instead, she found him sitting alone in the dark in front of the graveyard. "AJ?" He didn't look up. His mood had changed. She felt bad for not even noticing his absence. She got so caught up in her anxiety that she hadn't been watching the one person that made her so fearful. I'm a murderer, Clem." Her heart sank.. This, again? They had the same kind of conversation once every few days. Not even an hour ago he had seemed so happy and excited. Had it been something someone said? Clementine knew Willy was very direct, and AJ's relationship with him had strengthened. "Kiddo what has Willy been saying?" He shook his head. "Nothing that isn't true. I murdered Marlon.. And I murdered Tenn. And-" He sniffled a little. "Can I swear?" She nodded, raising an eyebrow. "And now I just use all his crayons, it makes me so fucking angry! But not at him.. at me." He paused, looking up to the sky. "It doesn't matter if I thought it was right.. Don't try to lie to me. I get it now." She grew closer, putting a hand on his back. "I-" He pushed her away. "Everything I learned is different now. I'm trying to be strong, and brave like you taught me but..." He shut his eyes. "I don't know how to fight what I feel." Clem lowered herself to the ground. "It's complicated.. You've seen a lot, had to do a lot. I wish I could've prepared you somehow, but.. There's no way to prepare you for this. All I could ever do was keep you alive, and teach you how to do that in case I couldn't anymore. Until we got here, there was no reason to teach you more than your breathing and how to control your anger.." She pulled him into a hug from behind. "You don't have to be alone with your feelings. If you talk about them, they get better. The things you did weren't right.. But no one holds them against you. The rules are fuzzy. Sometimes they change a bit." She hadn't seen him tear up like this for a while, it wasn't an uncommon topic, but crying was rare. "I'm so sorry, kiddo." He turned to her and buried his face in her jacket. "What if I have to kill someone again? What if the people are bad, like Lily? I just want everything to feel okay." Clementine sighed, holding him tighter and stroking his hair. "I know.. I know." She paused, and glanced back to the courtyard. What had happened? Where had the time gone? He didn't deserve this. If only she could give him a life worth living in a world worth surviving for. It was too much for him. She knew it would catch up to him someday. Was she to blame? Clem couldn't bear to see him suffer. She rocked him gently, back and forth. "I won't let you go through that ever again." He was quiet, his sobs muffled. Even she was tearing up at this point. "I promise..."

She looked down to him, resting her face into his hair.

"I promise."