Legless, But Alive | TWDG Season 5 Fanfic

Deeper Than They Knew

The heat was unbearable. Clem's breathing was labored and heavy. The old, worn walls of the shed creaked and moaned as the flames spread through them. The dead walker from so long ago's limp body was ablaze, halfway in the shed. She was shaking, and looked down at her hands. Her brand was gushing blood, and the scar on her arm had opened up. She tried clawing at the door. No good. Clementine frantically glanced around the small room, catching sight of a pistol resting on a bed of coals in the fire. Reluctantly, she reached towards the weapon. The flames burned her skin as she rested her hand on the gun, and she cried out in pain. It began firing unpredictably. She nearly dropped it in surprise, but instead aimed it at the door. 'Breath, Clem, breath!' She squeezed her eyes shut, and heard the gun fire.
The heat faded. A chill ran down her spine, a drastic change. She hesitantly opened her eyes. The room had changed. The beige walls stood menacingly around her, the familiar garage style door, the gray concrete floor with red rugs and two couches. Where the door of the shed once stood, now was replaced by the silhouette of a figure. Why? Clementine frantically buried her face in her free hand. She couldn't do this again. "Sweet..pea.." She bit her quivering lip, fighting back tears. It's not real, it's not real. She had been here before. So many times before. She counted her steps, trying to find the door. Turn around.. Right three steps. Turn to face the exit. Hug the wall... the door is coming up.. "Clementine.. Don't leave me.." Her hand rested on the doorknob. 'He wouldn't want you to do this. He wanted you to leave. He wanted you to shoot him. Just go. GO.' Everything in her was telling her to move, to do something. Anything! She was frozen. A minute or two passed of silence, aside from Clem's calm breathing paired with the desperate wheezes coming from behind her. "I'm sorry, Lee." She pointed the gun in his direction. She didn't have to aim. This whole scene was all too familiar. She knew what she had to do, she always had to do it. Clem pulled the trigger, and raced out the door.
There was a flash of light. Clem squinted as it faded, and found herself back in the barn. Why hadn't she woken up yet? Why? What did it all mean? It was dark, too dark. Groans of the dead called out to her as she tried to stand. Startled, she fell back down to the ground. She felt something sticky in the wood chips of the barn. Realizing what she was crawling in, she shakily stood and looked for the source. All around her, Clementine could make out the faces of people. People she had known: dead or alive. Their faces, heads, rather, and nothing else. Their bodies were absent, as if their corpses had been split, leaving only their severed their skulls. She felt nauseous. They were carelessly thrown about. She heard a low growl, and looked down to see a head, its jaws biting at the air violently. The blond hair and pale skin was unmistakable. It was Violet. Clem gasped, and backed away, only to stumble on another writhing, undead skull. This time, it was Aasim. 'This one's new.' She thought to herself. The other two were common themes of her night terrors, yet.. This was fresh. The sound of crying echoed through the barn. It was Alvin Junior. "AJ?" Two shots were fired. The light of the gun revealed his gentle face, his sobs growing louder. It was a distorted audio: some sort of mix between his cries from not long ago, and those from when he was an infant. She looked back to discover what the bullets hit. Violet and Aasim's head remained, now with no life behind their eyes. Two bullets, square between their eyes. She looked back, but he was gone.

"Clem!" Her eyes burst open, startled, to find AJ laying by her side. She knew it wasn't real, but it felt real. She took a deep breath and turned to face him. Clem wrapped an arm around him, smiling. He was real. It was over. His eyes were red and puffy from crying last night. "Morning, kiddo." Violet stood in the doorway, leaning against the peeling wall. When she noticed Clem had woken up, she brought over her crutches. "We're getting ready outside, I thought you would want to come discuss the plan before we head out." She nodded. "Yeah, sure." AJ had hopped off the bed, and grabbed Clem's old backpack. "Can I borrow this, Clem?" She shrugged nonchalantly as she stretched. "I don't see why not." He offered her the hat that had been on the table, and she paused for a moment. She could wear it again, or.. "Do you wanna wear it today?" AJ's eyes widened and he nodded feverishly, popping it on his head. He smiled and struck a pose.
"Alright, little man, let's go show Aasim his knight in shining armor's new look." Clem got up, chuckling. Violet held the door and AJ skipped out of the room. Clem hesitated a moment, taking a deep breath. Once AJ was out of earshot, Violet approached her, concerned. "Everything okay?" She shook her head, looking away. "Is something wrong?" How could she begin to explain it? Sure, Violet was fucked up too, but.. would it really make sense? She wanted to open up, but what would that accomplish? They didn't have the time right now, anyway. "It was just a dream. We'll talk later." Vi knew something was up that needed to be addressed, but didn't want to push. She wrapped Clem in an embrace and just held her. She rested her head on Vi's shoulder. Breathe. Don't feel, this shit's stupid. It's stupid. She desperately fought back the tears.
How many times was Clem going to keep playing this game? Being strong, inside and out? If they knew everything, would they think she was a monster? The feelings made her want to curl up in her bed and never emerge. Next time, she told herself. Over and over.
Violet eventually let go, knowing that there was no getting through to her. Not now, at least. The two left the room silently, a non verbal agreement to just move on. It hurt her to see Clementine hurting, and Clem knew that. She left her feelings at the door, and continued on.

(Shorter then usual, I know. Just wanted to get the dream sequence out of the way as to not clog another chapter with just that.)