Chapter Six: Penises and Thigh-Grabs

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"You did...what?" Tanner almost whispered to him at lunch, still holding the celery stalk he was about to eat. His jaw went slightly slack like Devin had told him something unreal.

Devin leaned over closer to Tanner and spoke only slightly louder.

"I asked Sam out, and now we're dating," Devin said sternly.

"I-but-wha-"

"We'll talk about it when we are in a safer position," Devin relayed, "But for right now, keep it on the down-low."

"The down-low? Dev, I can barely process this. Let alone-" Tanner paused and took in a breath with his eyes closed like he was meditating. "Jesus Christ. Okay, but you have to explain everything to me later at my place. Today." Then Tanner finally took a bite of his celery while mumbling, "Holy mother of God, it's crazy being your best friend." Devin swore he heard a mumble about being bipolar.

Suddenly, Sam came up and sat next to him.

Devin couldn't believe his genius. He had somehow figured out a way to get the hottie he wanted, and also get rid of his crazy ex-lover. This time, he noticed that Sam sat slightly closer to him. The bully wanted Sam so bad, but he decided to be a good boy and keep his hands to himself for now.

Meanwhile, Tanner stared at Sam as if he was a ghost. Sam stared back with confusion.

"What- What's going on?" Sam asked, looking between Devin and Tanner's expressions.

Devin leaned in so the tables around him wouldn't hear, "I told him we were dating now, but to keep it on the down-low."

Sam looked back at Tanner, who seemed to want confirmation.

"Oh, right," Sam then smiled, "Yeah, we are now."

Tanner's eyes bobbed out of his head.

"Guys, you've known each other for less than a week," Tanner glanced between them, "As your friend, I recommend you at least get to know each other more. Otherwise, your relationship is going to sink into the depths like the Titanic."

Tanner's refreshing honesty always made Devin appreciate him more.

"Thank you for the advice," Devin said sincerely, "But I'm ignoring it."

"So, am I!" Sam said giddily, then shrugged, "Sorry, Tanner."

"Okay, fine, but I accept full bragging rights when I am correct, and you break up," Tanner accepted, going back to eating his extremely healthy lunch. "Anyway, Sam, did you get permission from your mom to come over to my house today?"

"Yeah she said I could go, but I'm not allowed to do drugs or drink alcohol," Sam recited like it was a code of arms.

"Sounds good," Tanner gave him a thumbs up, "I'll make sure to put the weed out of sight."

Sam's eyes seemed to sparkle.

"You have *weed*?" he gasped, like weed was a precious gem or a mansion.

Tanner looked Devin in the eye with a deadpan stare, then redirected his gaze back to Sam.

"Yeah, I can definitely tell why your mom is keeping you away from drugs," Tanner said unapologetically, "You look like you would get addicted to them instantaneously."

Sam shrugged, and mumbled to himself, "I get easily addicted to bad things." Then, he looked up at Devin through his eyelashes and tipped his head until his cheek rested gently on his lifted shoulder.

It was definitely a seductive look toward Devin, and Devin was highly enjoying it.

"Well, meet me outside the school after the last bell, and we can ride the bus together," Tanner replied.

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