Finding Yourself: Book Two

Chapter Fourteen: Boyfriends

Devin pressed Sam against his door as soon as it shut behind them. They locked lips almost immediately, Devin starting off with a deep passionate kiss. Sam followed suit. After about a minute of kissing, Devin grabbed the collar of Sam's letterman jacket and opened it up a little- kissing and nibbling a line of love bites from his jaw down to his neck. Sam let out little gasps- and when Devin gave a deep, searing kiss to Sam's collarbone, Sam let out a deep moan.

Devin had never heard a man moan like that before. It made shivers run down his spine, like the vibrating vocal cords shook his body too. He dived back into ravishing Sam's neck. He wanted to make sure the hickeys were visible for everyone to see- especially Klara- when they came out as a couple the next day at school.

"Mnh-" Sam almost whimpered when Devin slowed down, "Devin."

Devin preened at Sam saying his name with hooded eyes, pressed against the door. His jeans definitely felt tight.

"Yes?" he asked, probably staring at Sam with the same hooded look.

"I want to stop because- you know- standards," he said, his breath slightly heavy from lust, "But part of me wants so much more." Sam bit his lip. Devin took a quick glance at Sam's lower regions, and noticed he didn't look hard. At first, he was concerned, and then he realized- oh right. Sam doesn't have a dick yet.

Sam didn't have a dick. That sounded strange to Devin, which was also weird since he was used to expecting a vagina. Strangely enough, Devin wanted to see what it was like, for Sam to have the parts of a guy. He realized way too late that he wanted to see Sam in his final form, you could say. He wanted to see Sam for the first time, completely himself.

"Devin?" Sam asked, now looking serious, "Devin, are you alright?"

"Um, I just thought of something," Devin shrugged, trying to brush it off. But Sam saw through it, as he did normally.

"What's that?"

"Well, you have a vagina, right?" Devin asked, wishing he knew how to say this without it being weird.

"...Yes," Sam said slowly.

"Would it make you...uncomfortable...if we have sex that way?" Devin said slowly. He didn't want to say the wrong thing to offend Sam. Sam didn't see him as a bad guy, and he would like to keep it that way. However, Sam seemed to consider this.

"Not really- I don't think," Sam answered honestly, "Although, I hope you won't mind it if I do have a penis. Because I will get my surgery whether or not you like it."

"Okay, so, I was thinking," Devin had never felt more awkward in his life, "That maybe we could wait until after your surgery?"

Sam stared at him for a moment. He was very quiet and still, which made Devin concerned. Since when did he think about what other people thought? He didn't. But he did care about what Sam thought.

"...Why?" Sam asked curiously. Devin could tell he had made him very confused. "I thought you liked...women parts."

"I do, but it's just-" Devin sighed, "It feels...wrong... to do you like that. When I have sex with you for the first time, I want to do it when you're at your most comfortable. When you're a full man."

"A...full man," Sam raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"Sh*t!!" Devin realized, his eyes going wide, "That's not what I meant. I mean, you're a man right now. What I meant was, I don't want to remind you of your more feminine parts by uh..using them."

"Using...them..." Sam said slowly, both of his eyebrows going up.

"I don't mean that in a bad way," Devin clarified, "I mean it in a practical way. I don't want to use you. You're not a piece of trash I'm going to throw away. You are more like an old and reliable tool."