Finding Yourself: Book Two

Chapter Sixteen: Cookie-Cutter

Devin had laid up all night thinking about what Avil had said. Before he knew it, he was outside Nick's door, knocking on it. Nick answered. He was awake, with a book in his hand, and no Xavier was in sight.

Devin could probably guess where Xavier was.

"Avil told me you were abused," Devin said upfront. Nick blinked twice before opening the door all of the way. Devin stepped in.

"He said...what now?" Nick asked, closing the door and setting his book on the nightstand. Devin noticed that the giant king-sized bed was basically made. Nick's half had the comforter slightly turned down. Xavier's half was smooth like it hadn't been touched for a while. Devin sat on the bed.

"He said you were abused," Devin repeated. Nick looked like he was thinking hard.

"Why?" Nick questioned.

"Well, he was kind of asking if I was abused," Devin revealed. He felt like he could share that with Nick. "And I- basically- asked why he thought that. He said that we acted the same- or similar." Nick sat next to him.

"Well," Nick started, "I wouldn't exactly call it abuse. I was more neglected than abused. All my dad really did was smack me when I talked too much. I was a talkative kid. It's definitely not as bad as your case."

"You...You know?" Devin was confused. Nick must have known that his father was arrested, but Devin didn't know that the foster home would tell him about the details.

"Nothing specific," Nick shrugged, "So don't freak out. All I know is that CPS was called, and that- well- the specific charges he got arrested with were concerning to me. I hope he didn't do all of that stuff to you specifically, let's just say that."

Devin kind of felt frozen. He didn't like that someone knew. It made him feel weak. Vulnerable. He hated that feeling.

"I can pretend to not know, if that would make you feel more comfortable," Nick offered. Nick's face was only lit by the desk lamp by the bed. It made his dark circles look more prominent. "But before I start pretending, I want to tell you something. I don't know how you feel about your dad: scared, angry, or indifferent. Despite how you feel though, I will never let him- or anybody like him- near you ever again. I would rather kill before letting my kids get hurt. You could ask Dakota. You don't have to defend yourself anymore."

Devin suddenly felt touched in some spot no one had ever reached. He knew Nick was telling the truth, because when he thought of himself in Nick's situation- he felt the same. He had spent his whole life only half-trusting people, fighting for himself only, and building himself up from nothing; Nick's words felt like a giant the size of Niagra Falls stepped off of Devin's shoulders. He didn't have to lie and keep up a facade anymore, not really. He didn't have to be the toughest, meanest, most superior man in the room to feel happy. He didn't need a wall around himself like a fortress.

And Devin, the most eloquent, just replied with, "Thanks," and a "Are you sure?" 

But he felt much more free.

"I would bet my cooking skills on it," Nick smiled in response. 

"Damn," Devin replied, a little breathless.

"I was just reading a book, but you want to go hit the bag?" Nick asked, referring to the punching bag, "Xavier probably won't be back tonight. I won't get any sleep anyway."

"Sure," Devin replied, because he knew he wouldn't sleep either. But for once, he was fine with not punching something. "You said to ask Dakota if you would kill for us. Does that mean you've actually killed people before?"