The girl

hey its me

My name is Ella Lane and I'm from Texas. Well a small town in Texas called "river roon". It sounds weird ya know? Everybody gets confused whenever I say where I'm from.

I have 4 brothers , Preston(17), Damien(14), Jayden(8), Xander(6)
And one sister Dakota(2)

I love them to death but I still wonder what it would be like to be an only child. My parents are divorced and I don't get to see my dad often.

I have blackish/brown hair that goes down to my shoulders and hazel eyes.
The basic kinda girl. I'm not exactly fat but I'm not skinny either. I've developed an eating disorder over time because I felt I wasn't skinny enough.

And I'm almost the shortest in the family. I'm 5 ft lol I'm small I know.

I have a few friends I like to hang out with. Miah, Jessica, Nyah, Connor, Justin and his boyfriend Javon. They are my main people. I talk to some others but I wouldn't say I'm friends with them. I also have a lover. I don't know how or what he sees in me but god I got so lucky. His name is kade and I've completely fallen head over heels for him already.

I didn't believe in love at first sight. I mean I knew you could think someone was cute when you first see them but never fall in love. But everything changed when I saw him. It's like everything stopped and I couldn't help but stare. He's so cute and sweet. He means everything to me!

But that's just how I am during the day...

At night my mind wonders. All the thoughts in my head are really freaking scary sometimes. I can't control them no matter what I do. I struggle with fighting them off but I always end up failing. And I can never keep it together.

It's like struggling to stay afloat when you don't know how to swim. You can manage for a little while before you start to get tired and give up. Then right when your about to die you get some power you never knew you had and you come back up to the surface. Then the cycle repeats.

But I think everyone is like that though. Well not exactly like that but I think everyone has their own problems. Demons they face and sometimes they don't even know it.

I've always struggled to tell when someone was hurt or down about something but that was before I found my own. Now I can't stop spotting them everywhere. It's like I can see people's problems just by looking at them. Sounds crazy right?

Not only that but people tend to tell me their problems. I didn't mind at first but at this point I don't know how much more I can take. I want to help them but how can I help them when I can't even help myself...?

I hate having to tell people no. I think it makes me seem like an asshole. I tell myself that I'm just gonna say no and at the last second I get scared and say yes. Yes I know I'm a wimp.

Well that's what my life is like or atleast some of it. I'm not just gonna tell you all of it at one time. That's not how it goes ya know? You'll get to see how my life is throughout the story. I just hope its entertaining.

I used to always wonder what it was like in other people's lives but I wouldn't say that mine is bad. I've lied and some more stuff but I don't really think it makes me a bad person.

At this point I don't even know what I'm saying. My life is pretty ordinary but you get to see what it's like from my point of view.

Have fun....

WELCOME TO MY NEW STORY!!!!!

Much loveXx