It's Complicated

Desolation Row

Las Angeles, 1996.

"Are you excited?"

"No"

"Not even a little bit?"

"Not even a little bit. ........Do I have to go?"

"Yes."

Sitting in the front of the car watching the road go by, the lady from social services, Anne Gray, kept asking me these questions. I reacted the exact same way every time.

I've told everyone from Las Vegas that I was excited for the new beginning but in reality it's just a whole lot of shit.

I read the file on the family I'm staying with, they had a older son who apparently is meant to be very nice but judging from the pictures of him I think that could've been a lie .  The couple themselves seemed nice in fairness. My foster mother, Elizabeth, is a complete angel and does loads of volunteering with the church. I love learning about different religions in school but I, myself, couldn't care less about religion so if I'm made go to mass every sunday I might aswel just run away like my mom. My foster dad, Gary, is the biggest work-aholic ever and works as a salesperson.

"I brought my CDs, can I put them on" I asked hopefully but knowing this bitch ,she won't let me.

"No"

"Ugh Why! oh my god!" I huffed, being dramatic and throwing my head back.

"Because I said so."

The whole ride went extremely slow, we didn't stop at all but  finally, we arrived.

It was a ordinary bland, white upper class house. 3 story's by the looks of it and a big garden. It would be perfect if I was with my brother.

"Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes."

We greeted the family and soon after Anne left, thank god. Elizabeth had dark brown healthy hair that had natural beach waves, she was extremely fit and looked young for her age. Her eyes were green and lips full, talking in a western accent. Gary had a business man look to him, he was slightly overweight and had perfectly jelled back light brown hair. They showed me to my bedroom, which within the first hour there I managed to put up all my posters. Now I have my real guardian angles watching me ; The Beatles, Blur, Oasis, The Rolling Stones, Sherlock Holmes + Watson, Elvis, Bob Dylan, Avril Lavigne and The All-American Rejects.

I got called down for dinner at around 6, I've already been here for a whole 3 hours and I haven't even complained yet.

The dinner was extremely bad. We had some weird gluten-free, dairy free stew and it just tasted like puke. No one else seemed to notice though so I just kept quiet.

"This is loving, honey."

"Yeah, really good, mom"

"Thanks, Mrs Miller" i mumbled soon after Zac, my foster brother. He was quiet towards me but was a confident to his dad, which I assume is completely normal, giving the thought that I didn't talk to him either.

Zac looked exactly like his dad but healthier. He had his hair messy but it was the same light brown as his fathers.

"Where's the shower room?" I asked so quiet it was barely audible.

"The girls one is upstairs, the first door to the right" Elizabeth said with a sweet smile on her face.

"Okay, I'm going to go have a shower. Thank you so much for the dinner." I rushed upstairs and got my shower things ready.

In the cold shower that wouldn't heat up no matter what knob I turned. I closed my eyes and started humming, singing in my head to Bob Dylan.

'Don't send me no more letters no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row'

I opened my eyes to turn it off when I saw the opened a crack at the door. I could've sworn I locked it.

I wrapped a baby pink towel around me and went to look at the door. No one was there, probably just faulty locks. Now my shower is ruined, great.

I went back into my bedroom and took out my notebook with loads of scribbles on it and tried to think of what to write to Rossi.

'Rossi,
I moved into the Millers home today, they're sweet I guess. Not really my cup of tea. I miss my dad and mom, even if I hate them....I guess that's wrong in a way but I can't help myself. Have you heard from my mother yet?
Elizabeth is nice, same with Gary. Zac definitely hates me but it's ok because I don't need to replace Evan.
Not really much news aside from the move.
Are you planning on publishing another book soon? I can't wait any longer! Hope everyone in the Behavioral Analysis Unit are well.
Goodbye for now
-Aoife'

I starred at the letter, I don't even know why I feel obliged to tell Rossi about every little detail that happens in my life. I just do. It comforts me.