It's Complicated

With A Little Help From My Friends.

Quantico , Virginia, 2004.

You know how in the movies, on the 'new kids' first day of school everyone welcomes them and asks them 'hey, are you new?' and somebody shows them around the school and they instantly become best friends.

Yeah, that definitely doesn't happen in real life. Firstly, the principle showed me around the school. Then, every time I got introduced as the new kid everyone just started at me for a second and went on with their work. I guess everyone's just really focused in LA.

I didn't talk to anyone, at all. I had lunch in the library reading, I was the only person there so it was really nice. The library was massive and the bookshelves so tall that there were ladders so you could reach the top.

School went on normally, I kept my head down and continued working as hard as I can.

It seemed no matter how much I studied I always got 70%-80% in my tests. Which I was happy with, but not good enough to be classified as smart.

I knew deep down I was smart, and I knew all the answers in the test. I just didn't know how to put my knowledge in words. I suppose, that would be a skill in itself.

I wrote to Spencer once a month and he wrote back. He just got a job working in the BAU where Rossi used to work. Rossi wrote a few really good books that I read, he's actually made a lot of money from them and he's really rich now so he buys me really good birthday and Christmas presents every year. I still write to Rossi a-lot and Evan and I rang each-other once a week and meet up sometimes.

The FBI found a house under my mom's name but when they got there, it was abandoned. At this stage, I didn't even want to see her. I think I hate her so much for running away and getting off the grid  because I understand why she left. I mean, who would want to raise the kids of a child who shared the same genes of a killer.

My dad tried to write to me a lot, I actually opened the letters. I didn't think I would, I know I shouldn't have. But he is my dad and he was never mean to me. I know that sounds selfish but at least he still cares about me.

His first letter was an apology, he said he's sorry that he thinks my life is ruined now, which isn't true. His victims family's lives are ruined now though. I tried not to look into his case, once I looked it up but 10 seconds into reading it I got sick.

His second letter was about jail, apparently it's not like the movies and it's just like a routine everyday. He doesn't mind it so at least the rest of his life won't be complete torture.

All the rest of his letters were his regrets and he had a lot of them. He said he regrets ever getting mad at me and throwing me out when he did. He regrets all the time that he spent in Europe instead of being with me. He regrets not loving my mom enough. He regrets leaving Evan to be the man of the house. He regrets not bringing me to Ireland enough. He regrets not showing me the wonders of the world.

He never said he regretted what he did to those people. I tried to ignore that but I just couldn't. I never wrote back to him. He wrote letters to Evan as-well but he didn't write back either.

After high school I went on to do Criminology which I really enjoyed and was good at.  College was surprisingly really fun. I made a few friends and even found myself a boyfriend. His name is Harry and he's amazing.

We met through friends and he didn't judge me when I told him about my dad. He hasn't met Evan yet but when they do they will become really good friends.

Like my dad, Harry has Intermittent explosive disorder. It's not nearly half as bad as dads and Harry has it under control. He takes it out on football and the Gym and takes medication for it.