wet hair and seasonal crushes

Logic of a madman is a sane man's confusion

"i liked you more when you were passed out" Remus mumbled in his arm. 

"Talking about that, who the fuck carried me to the hospital wing"

"All of us did" Great, -

"You're not as light as you look by the way"

"oh shove off"

there was a silence.

"You know that Sirius is going to find out some day" My blood ran cold. What now.

"I beg your pardon"

"I saw Regulus visit you yesterday late at night." Oh fuck, he knows. 

"I don't know what you're talking about" 

"Oh don't give me that shit Alexis, i saw you" He was kind of harsh but i understand. "Every time we bring him up you avoid eye contact and change subjects, which i at first dismissed as hatred but then i saw how you look at him, it's not hatred it's lust. Do you really think no one notices your exchange of looks in the great hall."

"ugh" i face plant on pillows, Remus is an introverted person by nature and you know what they say about introverted persons, they are observers. 

"It's not gonna lead to anything anyways i don't have to tell him"

"You sure about that?"

I didn't respond

"Do you love him"

"woah there with the big words it's only kissing gosh!"

He looked at me with a sly smile.

"Don't look at me like that moony"

He started laughing full-heartedly, mans was having a full blown fit. 

It feels kind of good to have someone know this. 

"You can not tell Sirius or i swear i will avada kedavra you out of existence" 

"You will have to tell him"

"Yeah yeah, i know, someday i will"

Silence settles back in.

"So is he a good kisser?"

"Oh my god shove off"

"I'm kidding"

"I'm going to our dorm"

"no my friend, i need to talk about this, i've been keeping it inside for so long" he said making grabby arms towards me.

So i sit back down, because i too have been keeping it inside and need to exteriorize.

"So when are you seeing him next?" I don't think i like this interrogation, i don't even know how to answer this.

"i don't know we don't really plan ahead"

"and what's the status of everything"

I'd wish he didn't ask that question, cause that situation is very blurry right now.

"He doesn't want anything more, he says it's nothing and that it will never ever happen, that what we're doing is just for shit's and giggles" I said, it sounded very absurd when you say it aloud.

"And you want what?" ugh, why 

"don't make me say it"

he snickered at me.

"I want him to be- my...ergh- boyfriend" Do you know how much i hate that word, its so official and i dislike it, it's a stupid word. Remus looked at me with a big smile.