I can sense that familiar feeling that I might have done something wrong
I guess the pit of dreading and angst is where I truly belong
Paranoia that is disguised as self-awareness
The lack of understanding basic cues mixed with being overwhelmed by the feeling of bareness
I lead my emotions using thy heart
The risk is now I can experience all the cracks breaking it apart.
The trust it takes to put full belief in a person you respect
But I been clued in by my persecution complex
Was such desperate reassurance just lies with ill will?
An facade act to stop my silent shrill?
A bond created out of feign tolerance?
Controlled by my irritated docileness ?
My heart is pulsing heavily with sweat made out of fears
Strained shifty eyes holding heavy tears
Pain that seem invisible by people with hidden glares
The feeling that every mistake you make is filled with stares
The lies I have caught like a fish stuck in a net desperate to attack
The laughter that is only audible behind my trembling back
Time to clean up the pile of sweat control by my heart
The repeated cycle of betrayal is what gonna tear me apart
Trembling, quaking, and slowly breaking
My body relaying my anxiousness by shaking
I'm trying to avoid fiends who use crocodile crying to hide their shroud of lying
Why is it so difficulty to approach someone who's worthy of relying?
My fear of people and their hive mind called humanity
Slowly turning into hatred tearing apart my strained sanity
But the hatred is not truly towards them but instead a coward that resides in me
The person who I truly hate the most. A burden who only knows how to flee
I can feel rapid beating on my aching heart
The overload of nausea is ready to start
My shortened lungs is forcing a breath
My skin is turning into a crimson red
But my tremoring hand must applaud your clever lies
You strung along my attachment so I'm unable to fight
My stuttering voice is too aphonic to yelp
So, is it truly possible to have a miracle known as help?
Only know how to dropped bread crumb to show their something more
Despite the worthlessness weighing on my core
The feeling of death is on my heavy mind
But I can only cry for help using signals and signs
But since nobody can gets the hints I dropped aside
It time for this burdensome coward to fulfilled their true role and hide
I can feel an erupted explosion in my palpable heart
Only been left with pain since very the start
Betrayed, mocked, abandoned and ostracized
Bottling the fear and terror I been holding inside
But since it clear I have no worth in the public eyes
I hidden myself in solitude so my heart can feel safe from scares and lies
I have thrown away the key so I'm officially locked away
So my anxiety and paranoia can no longer be outweighed
But there's still a question I should quietly asked thee
Is it truly possible to live a life like mine fear free?
YOU ARE READING
Green Poems
PoetryThis is a collection to the poems I wrote Some are sad Some are cheerful Some are emotional Some are deep And some are heavy Some are dealt with topics that might be sensitive But all the poems are made with effort, passion, and with a message...
